Our expert says:
Took her rather a long time to recognize that he was a sponger, didn't it ? Forr him to now blackmail her by threatening a suicide atempt if she leaves him ( and presumably, stops paying for all his fun ) is ungrateful and guresomely unfair. If he does commit suicide, that is his own decision, not hers or yours. If he is on antidepressants, presumably he is seeing someone who is responsible for his care, and who should have been dealing with his manipulativeness as well as his depression. His kids probably don't want to see him because he has probably done something very like this to them as well --- and he's still around to exploit others.
What would happen if you called him and explained that while nobody wants him to come to any harm, and you urge him to see his shrink or doc and work through this crisis, it is also not acceptable for him to blackmail other people into accepting himby threatening them in this way, and that this tactic will drive people awar from him, rather than drawing them towards him.
One has to make choices in situations like this. Either you give in to blackmail, and like all blackmailers he will repeat the threat every time he doesn't get his way, so you and she become enslaved to meeting his demands, which may escalate over time --- and you accept his invitation to blame yourself for his choices in life and for his actions ;
or, like governments who stick to a policy that however tempting, they will never negotiate with terrorists ( and this is inded a form of emotional terrorism ) and refuse the invitation, refuse to feel guilty about his choices of action, and protect yourselves, while suggesting that he go and seek the help he needs.
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