Our expert says:
A friend in trouble through no fault of her own, should be able to expect support from you. But a friend who, inconsiderate of the pain she will be causing someone's wife, selfishly chooses to have an affair with a married man, has no right whatever to expect your sympathy or support. In effect, she is expecting you to help her have the grubby affair. What you initially told her was wise, and for anything else, tell her to see a counsellor, and that she absolutely CAN live without him. Make it clear that you expect the woman she was, to end the affair and start acting sensibly and compassionately again, and you will be pleased to resume your friendship with the woman you have been friends with for so long ; but that meantime, you cannot be a friend of someone acting as she has chosen to act. <br>Loving someone you have good reason not to like, is actually quite commonly the case. And you made a very important distinction early on, by recognizing that you can love someone, and hate WHAT THEY DID.
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