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Question
Posted by: Thato | 2012/07/02

Fought with Husband

Last weekend It happened that i find the lady''s names saved as love on my husband''s phone and there was another message from a woman saying " you could have told me you are not coming, rather than keep me waiting"  so i asked him what is happening and he told me that I must to not worry its just one lady who was giving a ride to work daily and the other one they just met, since that same Friday we had a fight so i was avoiding him, so he called me the whole day and i was ignoring his calls, the same day he called and said why do i make life so difficult for him and he feels i am giving him his attitude, we a fight about a family issue which became so big, so he ended up meeting this lady at the pub and exchanged numbers. I really cried and pleaded with him to explain how can e do that to me, i sacrificed my friends and social life for him and he cheats?. We hadly fight and he never showed me any cheating signs before, problem is his work is demanding he is always on standby day and night so i can''t control or monitor his movements, his both phones always has passwords, same applies to mine. I happened this one was new and it didn''t have a password. He assured me there is not woman who will take my place so he will delete and stop contact with them. Now he dropped his friends for me and we do family thing together and he comes homes early, But since this has happened, when ever i am not with him i feel like he is going to them or maybe he has been cheating for a while, i find it difficult to focus , i am wishing to forget about all this but its not easy at all, what do i do now.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

One of the penalties of sulking and ingoring calls, is that you may miss clls that actually matter to you, and also that other people may claim, trutfully or otherwise, that they were trying to call you about something, and you'll never know.
The explanation he has offered MIGHT innocently explain the message complaining that he didn't turn up for a lift / ride he had arranged.
Within a proper relationship you shouldnt want to control his movements any more than he should want to control yours, and you shouldn't need to monitor them, either.
Maybe it'd be worth seeing a marriage counsellor together to work this oput further - it sounds from your description that he may be genuinely trying to make things better, but for some reason you are much more unsettled and finding it hard to believe he is faithful

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/07/02

One of the penalties of sulking and ingoring calls, is that you may miss clls that actually matter to you, and also that other people may claim, trutfully or otherwise, that they were trying to call you about something, and you'll never know.
The explanation he has offered MIGHT innocently explain the message complaining that he didn't turn up for a lift / ride he had arranged.
Within a proper relationship you shouldnt want to control his movements any more than he should want to control yours, and you shouldn't need to monitor them, either.
Maybe it'd be worth seeing a marriage counsellor together to work this oput further - it sounds from your description that he may be genuinely trying to make things better, but for some reason you are much more unsettled and finding it hard to believe he is faithful

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