Our expert says:
This sounds very like another message I read here, very recently. If they defrauded you and/or your business of over R 1 million, report them to the police and have them arested and prosecuted - it does them harm to teach them that they can get away with crime, and you won't be their only victim, until they get into bigger trouble and come to even greater harm themselves.
The mischievous and dangerous message that has got spread around South Africa that somehow all victims have a duty to "forgive" everyone who has harmed them, even if the perpetrators are triumphant, unapologetic and eager to continue doing wrong, is something we should, as a community, very firmly stamp out.
Do NOT "forgive" them for major crime. indiscriminate "forgiveness" is for suckers, and breeds criminality and cruelty.
Your wife obviously THINKS she is protecting them - yet she is only encouraging them to continue criminal conduct, and soon another victim may be very vicious indeed towards them. Persuade her to see a good and tough-love oriented counsellor to sort out her own confusion about crime and cruelty.
If these kids on't learn that criminal and wicked behaviour has negative consequences, you are both doing them a major disservice.
Forgive only in the sense of releasing yourself from the sadness and bitterness you feel, for your own benefit.
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