Posted by: Lammy | 2009-04-25

Forgive and forget

My boyfriend of year and a half cheated on me last year, I found out we broke up made up but I cant forget I cant trust him so much that I snop on his fone, documents and so on.He found we spoke about this now he says we should get married. I love him but i dont trust him,since then he doesnt go out with his pals he is over around me or left in the house.How do I trust again

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Our expert says:
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Forgiving, forgetting, and trusting again are entwined but separate and separable entities. Don't marry someone you already don't tryst. But do see a couples counsellor / relationship counsellor to see what you can sort out within this relaionship. This is bigger than just the idea of "trust again", but needs orking on the basics of your relationship. If they ca be fixed, you could have a happy marriage, but marriage itself definitely won't fix them.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Uh Uh. No way | 2009-04-28

Sorry my girl, that' s a real deal breaker. Cheating is dishonest and dishonourable to you and to what you represent (a decent person) Cheating is dishonest in the same way as someone who commits a theft or fraud. You can never forget and you can never trust him again. Do yourself a favour and find someone else, if you don' t you will live to regret it, I promise you.

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