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Question
Posted by: boo : ) | 2009-03-30

for interest sake

Dear CS,

I would like to know what i need to do...i was involved in substance abuse for 2 years...crept up on me, started out as experimental my boyfriend &  I used socially and before i knew it i was buying for myself, and it became out of hand. Boyfriend stopped on his own and It came to a point where I didn' t realise how deep i had gotten myself into it. He moved out and this was 8wks ago...I hven' t touched the stuff since...don' t want to ever again - I hve been going to AA for the past 8weeks now - I don' t have money for rehab - wot can I do in terms of getting help counselling for myself - where do I go to from here - I want him to know that I am getting my life back, but I want him back to - we are not speaking to each other at the mo &  I feel the longer I leave it the more time I' m giving him to move on with his life...pls help

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You've done well, so far, in realizing the mistake and stopping on your own. And AA is a good idea. If you are actually off whatever you were on, ( it depends on the particular substance ) for 8 weeks, there's no need for rehab as such, as it's mainly needed to ensure safely coming off some of the more tenacious drugs. Check with AA if they know of any economical source of personal counselling for you, and maybe FAMSA can advise, too, or even Lifeline, as you are wise to seek proper counselling to stay stopped --- and at least you are saving the cost of the substance(s) you were abusing. COncentrate on getting yourself right, and maybe send him a message that, inspired by his example, you have stopeed, and stayed clean for 8 weeks, and would appreciate his encouragement and support to help you continue in sobriety

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: jcat | 2009-03-30

and also, depending on the substance, look at NA groups - they have some extra input on stuff that AA doesn' t always include. Although the principles remain the same, so if AA has helped you so far, then an extra NA a week will fit in with that. If you are physically clean for 8 weeks you don' t need expensive rehab places, but ask around the group for a psychologist who has helped others.
And yes, definitely meet with your b/f in a non-threatening place, like for coffee. You can both talk, you can both see that you are clean, and you can maybe see if the two of you have a future together on those terms. Don' t be too shattered though if it turns out that you don' t. Relationships where both are abusing drugs very often don' t translate well to real life. Either way though, you should be able to meet,make peace, and see how well you both are doing post-abuse. The make peace bit is really important, for both of you. You say it started as social and then crept up until you both had problems - he just walked away 8 weeks earlier, which gives him a bit of an advantage, but doesn' t mean you are a total loser in comparison. Make peace, make friends, and maybe leave it at that for now. In similar circumstances, it took 3 years before my ex came back to show me that he had successfully kicked the crack, and we could start afresh from there.
Good luck and keep strong,
j

Reply to jcat
Posted by: Jessica | 2009-03-30

you dont mention that he is angry with you? but if he is then i would say chat to him and explain that you are over all that stuff. Its not as if you were the only one doing it, he too had a problem, perhaps he just gave up sooner than you did. If he moved out because of that then thats sounds a little unfair if you ask me. Why dont you just approach him and have a heart to heart, thats if you are really serious about this guy and really serious about starting over without the drugs. good luck and well done!

Reply to Jessica

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