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Question
Posted by: Flirty | 2011-10-30

Flirting outside my marraige

I''ve been married for 8 years and although I love my husband dearly, I never had a healthy, exciting (according to my standards) sexlife with him. Unfortunately I''ve had other partners before him and they were more to my liking in the bedroom. I''ve tried " training"  him, but this makes him very self conscious and unsure of himself, so I''ve stopped with that a long time ago. I am very unhappy with my sexlife, but very happy with my marriage life. Recently I met someone and there was an immediate sexual attraction between us and I''ve tried to fight it..... but now I find myself having a sexual affaire with this man. Because he satisfy me in that why, I find to be more likeble towards my husband and this has made my marriage relationship better. I do not feel extremely guilty, but that makes me think..... I love my husband and I am a very good wife to him and gives him what any man wants..... he just cannot take care of me in a sexual way.....
I am being careful and responsible with my sexual relationship with this other man, so I do feel better in my life with this.... I do know that if my husband is to find out, he would leave me and I don''t blame him.....
I suppose my Q is: I know it''s wrong, but if it makes me a better person.... why should I stop??

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

please consult a therapist. the complexity of the situation and how you feel can only be resolved through professional support.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Daniel | 2011-11-07

Flirty, if you are finding sexual satisfaction for yourself, keep doing it. Just be safe and make sure he never finds out. Life''s too short not to be satisfied.

Reply to Daniel
Posted by: Charlie | 2011-11-01

Oh my, you are going to pay dearly for this stupidity, like I said in my post, sex is important but not everything and I can assure you one can have a happy marriage without sex, there are so much more to life than the " ou gepompery" , actually I find it so degrading, but that''s just my opinion. Get out of this sexual relationship while you still can my girl or else you will regret this. Appreciate your husband!

Reply to Charlie
Posted by: IX | 2011-11-01

This is not on, you are going to kill your husband with STD" S and infect him with HIV/AIDS. You are so low and have no class. Hope your husband finds out and throws you out soon.

Reply to IX
Posted by: PIMP | 2011-11-01

Where do u live??
I would like you to come and work for me.......

Reply to PIMP
Posted by: Anon | 2011-10-31

Damn Flirty, you are trash! Your poor husband. Just because he doesn''t measure up to your sexual needs. You are the problem, the nymph, the cheat...and trash of a wife.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: H | 2011-10-31

Al hierdie mense se jou net sleg. I think the only remaining problem if your husband never finds out, is the risk that you will gradually grow emotionally attracted to the other person, and that''s where the problem starts, later on you are going to want more out of the relationship and will be torn between two men. Currently, while you have everything under control, everything is very lekker, wish for you that it could remain that way,

Reply to H
Posted by: Nonni | 2011-10-31

I am just curious how cheating on your husband makes you a better person? I would love this concept explained to me.

Reply to Nonni
Posted by: Ty | 2011-10-31

what I love about the place is the guilty don''t respond back, probably because they were expecting support

Reply to Ty
Posted by: Chris758 | 2011-10-31

You have already gone to far and I know your husband will find out about this and I hope he sends you packing!!

If you loved your husband as you say you do, you would never cheat on him!! You are trying to convince yourself that what you have done was because you needed good sex.....really? And it helped your marraige? Really?

Think about what you have done and how you really feell about your husband and your marraige. I just pray that you do not have any kids cause that would make you not only a bad wife but then a bad mother as well!!!

Reply to Chris758
Posted by: Billy | 2011-10-31

I agree with all the comments above, this will only end in disaster. Why are we so sex crazy??? Surely there is much more to life than having sex all day. This happens when the spirit of LUST is upon someone, we lose focus on what is really important in life and satisfy our carnal desires which at the end of the is satisfying the devil no matter how you want to look at it. To Flirty  have you asked yourself how would you feel if your husband prefers another woman over you, prefers her body to yours, touches another woman? Im not judging you, cause no one is without sin but think carefully about this before you lose everything. Good luck!

Reply to Billy
Posted by: Nancy | 2011-10-31

Don''t do it dear, I''ve been there done this, husband kicked me, 2yrs later the affair boyfriend booted me out, Im now all alone, hardly see my kids, they think im a bitch, I dont blame, DONT DO IT, STOP NOW

Reply to Nancy
Posted by: Romany | 2011-10-31

I agree with JR. WITHOUT A DOUBT your husband will find out and leave you.
Then you can move in with this other man and have sex 4/7 and nothing else. The4n you can watch your husband move on to another girl to love and cherish that will be faithfull to him and love him as he deserves. ans he will love her back and spit on the memories of you.
NO , do not fool yourself. This is NOT making you a better person. This is making you a slut that is trying to make herself feel better by being nice to the man that actually loves and cares for her.

Reply to Romany
Posted by: JR | 2011-10-31

You should stop because it''s wrong and you are going to hurt your husband and then your marriage will be over. Sex is not the bee all and end all. There is more to life than just sex, and believe me, you are going to cry big tears WHEN (because the truth always comes out) your husband finds out and kicks you out. This can and will only end in disaster, sorry to say.

Reply to JR
Posted by: James | 2011-10-31

And if your husband did this you would crucify him. Trash of a woman.

Reply to James
Posted by: sexologist | 2011-10-31

please consult a therapist. the complexity of the situation and how you feel can only be resolved through professional support.

Reply to sexologist

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