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Question
Posted by: Mag | 2011/04/29

First time with a girl erection failure

Hi.
Over the past few months I have noticed a common trend whereby I struggle or fail completely to get an erection when having sex with a girl for the first time.
Either I fail completely or penetrate her half erect and then erect fully whilst in her.
The weirdest part of it all is that I am extremely horny and fully erect during foreplay etc, but go limb come penetration time....
I am only 23, and relatively healthy.
Is this a common problem, should I be worried ?
Could it be anxiety ?
Why has it only been happening recently ?
It''s become so embarrasing I''m even considering buying pills
for it, just to guarantee me that erection !

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

You have mentioned that you are able to achieve an erection during foreplay, but erectile problems may occur for a number of possible reasons. The most problematic of all could be serious health issues and so it is recommended that you have a physical check up.

If all is well on the physical front, it is likely that the difficulty can be explained by a psychological block - e.g. fear of sexual failure/poor performance (e.g. losing erection, ejaculating too quickly, partner is not orgasmic or has pain during sex); anger at partner.

Another possible reason is that you may be losing focus on the sensations and starting to worry more about performance (or staying hard now). When you do this, start to 'watch' yourself & how you are 'doing', you block your sexual response and are likely to loose your erection. The best way to address this is to take time to refocus on the sensations in your penis/body during sex/stimulation and just going with the flow.

Psychological factors like this essentially block the normal working of the sexual response and can be addressed through individual or couple work with an experienced professional.

You could also consider one of the modern medications available, which would require going to a doctor to get a prescription.

If you need more help you should contact the SASHA (South African Sexual Health Association) helpline Tel -0860 100 262 for referral.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Sexologist | 2011/04/30

You have mentioned that you are able to achieve an erection during foreplay, but erectile problems may occur for a number of possible reasons. The most problematic of all could be serious health issues and so it is recommended that you have a physical check up.

If all is well on the physical front, it is likely that the difficulty can be explained by a psychological block - e.g. fear of sexual failure/poor performance (e.g. losing erection, ejaculating too quickly, partner is not orgasmic or has pain during sex); anger at partner.

Another possible reason is that you may be losing focus on the sensations and starting to worry more about performance (or staying hard now). When you do this, start to 'watch' yourself & how you are 'doing', you block your sexual response and are likely to loose your erection. The best way to address this is to take time to refocus on the sensations in your penis/body during sex/stimulation and just going with the flow.

Psychological factors like this essentially block the normal working of the sexual response and can be addressed through individual or couple work with an experienced professional.

You could also consider one of the modern medications available, which would require going to a doctor to get a prescription.

If you need more help you should contact the SASHA (South African Sexual Health Association) helpline Tel -0860 100 262 for referral.

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