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Question
Posted by: Jonas | 2012/09/23

First time sex problem

Hi everyone,

Me and my girlfriend (aged 18-19) love each other a lot, but we have a problem while trying to have sex for the first time. We really want to do it, she gets wet, but nothing happens when I try to come in. She tells that the vagina is too tight, it hurts and penis slips out. We tried that for five nights, but had no success at all. Lube also does not seem to help. Please gives us constructive advice as we become very disappointed every time and another becomes even more difficult and mechanical as well, causing no pleasure. We try oral sex and it is great, although she does not want to try to do it using a finger. Do not recommend going to psychologist or something as we will feel awkward there because of our age and the fact that we study in foreign country.

Thanks in advance.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

I can understand that this is difficult and I am sure she appreciates your patience in this regard. The question is whether she is "small/tight" or is she stressed and thus "tight"? If I understand you correctly, she does not want you to use your finger.. in the vagina? If so, you need a doctor to do an examination and determine whether it is a physical problem or not. If she however has a psychological resistance with regard to penetration, a psychologist (specialising in sexology) is the best option. Legally in South Africa you are able to consent to sex (older than 16) and I do not think any professional will judge you - technically it will be unprofessional to judge you. Deidre -SASHA

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Our users say:
Posted by: sexologist | 2012/09/24

I can understand that this is difficult and I am sure she appreciates your patience in this regard. The question is whether she is "small/tight" or is she stressed and thus "tight"? If I understand you correctly, she does not want you to use your finger.. in the vagina? If so, you need a doctor to do an examination and determine whether it is a physical problem or not. If she however has a psychological resistance with regard to penetration, a psychologist (specialising in sexology) is the best option. Legally in South Africa you are able to consent to sex (older than 16) and I do not think any professional will judge you - technically it will be unprofessional to judge you. Deidre -SASHA

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