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Question
Posted by: Jakes | 2011-10-10

first time sex

I''m in my late twenties and recently had sex for the first time. I did not tell the girl that it was my first time though. Ofcourse with my kind of luck, the condom broke. Luckily, becasue it was my first time, I decided to check on it at some point and then discovered that it wasn''t intact anymore. I had another, but struggled to get my erection back, I think I just got too much of a fright. The problem I had was that I could not feel anything while I was inside her. I read another user''s post where he mentioned the same thing. I did have an orgasm though, so there must have been some kind off pressure on my penis. Yet I didn''t feel anything. I have had better orgasms by just masturbating. I was a bit dissapointed because of the big, lifelong buit-up and certain expectations, and for it to have turned out like this I feel maybe first time sex is overrated. I discussed the fact that I did not feel anything with a friend and his opinion was that it was caused by the condom which takes the feeling away. But decreasing the feeling and not feeling anything at all is two different things. I am not very well endowed and was wondering whether maybe the smaller you are the less you''ll feel. It makes sense to me as there would not be a " tight fit"  Or could it be that the girl was maybe a bit " big" , or too lubricated, which would maybe take away from the feeling. I was so dissapointed that I haven''t even tried to have sex again. If I''m not going to have the pleassure from feeling that I have penetrated someone what would the point be? Please let me have your opinion as to what you think the reason for it is Doctor. Thanks.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Sorry that you were disappointed. There is a perception that a condom can decrease 'the feeling'. However some men say the feeling is the same. What is important is that you are not suppose to feel 'nothing'.The reasons you gave are not impossible, but unlikely. It can be that you are so used to (heavy handed) masturbation that you have to 'tune your body' to the more subtle stimulation of penetrative sex. It can also be that you created an unrealistic picture /feeling about sex or was just overwhelmed by the moment. Just to make sure that you do not have any other neurological problem consult your medical doctor or phone the SASHA helpline for the contact details of a professional – 0860 100 262. Deidre - SASHA

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Jakes | 2011-10-19

To First Timer: Do you think we could debate this further in private? My email is jason1426@gmail.com

Reply to Jakes
Posted by: First Timer | 2011-10-12

Hey Jakes,

I believe mine was the earlier post you saw: " Do Sex Coaches Exist" 
And it was the same experience for me. Like you said, she didn''t and still doesn''t know it was my first time.
And like you, I really don''t feel like sex again if that''s all it was.

I have thought about asking if maybe I can hook up with her again and also thinking about maybe telling her it was my first time and that way she can give me some ''coaching''.

The thing i find is when I masturbate alone or to porn I am only trying to please myself and when I had sex I was trying to please someone else too and felt that pressure instead of excitement.

If I were to do it again I think I would tell her what I like and what I would like to do to her. (For example I am aroused by the visual and we were in a very close embrace most of the time so I literally, couldn''t see what I was working with)

I would like to know what the expert thinks too.

Reply to First Timer
Posted by: XXX | 2011-10-11

You get different kind of condoms, there is a tipe on the market I dont know the name, that has little " Fingers " on the inside, that goes over your penis head, that gives a sensation that you might like.

Reply to XXX
Posted by: sexologist | 2011-10-10

Sorry that you were disappointed. There is a perception that a condom can decrease 'the feeling'. However some men say the feeling is the same. What is important is that you are not suppose to feel 'nothing'.The reasons you gave are not impossible, but unlikely. It can be that you are so used to (heavy handed) masturbation that you have to 'tune your body' to the more subtle stimulation of penetrative sex. It can also be that you created an unrealistic picture /feeling about sex or was just overwhelmed by the moment. Just to make sure that you do not have any other neurological problem consult your medical doctor or phone the SASHA helpline for the contact details of a professional – 0860 100 262. Deidre - SASHA

Reply to sexologist

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