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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2009-05-12

First time sex

Hi me and my boyfriend had sex the first time, for both of us this was the first time. But it didn' t seem enjoyable, even though neither of us experienced pain, the whole time when he went in deep, I could feel the head of his penis touch somethin inside me, it was a little bit pleasurable, but not very much, he didn' t even reach an orgasm in me, we tried it three times, neither of the times was much pleasurable, can it be that maybe he is too small, but I don' t think that can be the reason, because his penis is quite big, when he is horny, when I mean big, it is not smaller than 10 cm. Do you think that can be why we don' t experience pleasure, or can it be that he was wearing a condom?How can we enhance the pleasure?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Dear Anon,

It is very common for first time sexual experiences not to be as it is expected to be for a number of reasons. Often anxiety plays a role, inexperience plays a role, condom use can influence sensation and for most woman the greater pleasure is experienced from the stimulation of the clitoris, which in most penetratrive positions is not directly stimulated.

I agree that the size of your partner's penis is not an issue. Your vagina is not a certain sized "hole" it is a potential space that accommodates around the penis of your partner as he penetrates.

I commend you for using protection. The fact that neither of you experienced any pain is a good sign. Meaning you are sufficiently lubricated making penetrative sex comfortable.

I would recommend that you keep experimenting and getting to know each other sexually. You can add additional stimulation of your clitoris while your bf is penetrating you which will increase your sensations and your bf can try penetrating and thrusting in different positions, angles, speed and depth to explore various sensations during penetrative sex

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Bev | 2009-05-13

Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss (all over). My husband of 12 yrs is the world' s greatest kisser, still turns me on. Caress, feel,explore. Yes, sex is a journey so take your time + enjoy the ride. Communicate + let each other know what turns U on. Let him suck your breasts, your vagina lips + especially your clit. Once Ur really turned on + can' t wait 4 it anymore then proper intercourse will b much more enjoyable. Often in the beginning 2 much emphasis is placed on penetration. I' m married 12 yrs + my husband takes me on that exciting journey time + again. Only at the end does it end up in an explosive orgasm. Orgasm will also get better as U go along + gain more experience. Enjoy the learning.

Reply to Bev
Posted by: Sex Pot | 2009-05-13

Hi there  when having sex concentrate in the beginning just on 4play. Don' t even think of penetration. Get 2 enjoy kissing, caressing, holding each other tight, exploring each other' s bodies by feeling &  massage. He must know exactly where your clit is &  how to touch U there  finger U gently inside &  try 2 find your G spot. Don' t b in a hurry. Have a good session of 4play for the sake of having 4play. Learn 2 thoroughly enjoy 4play. Once U' ve got into the pleasures of this U' ll know - your body will tell U when 2 go over 2 full penetrative sex. It' s not just a case of thrusting a stiff penis into a vagina &  there U go. It' s a whole process. Enjoy the ride then the destination i.e. full sex will be well worth it + enjoyable.

Reply to Sex Pot
Posted by: Ken | 2009-05-12

Don' t worry, most people' s first sex experience is not very enjoyable. It takes time to get to know your partner,but it gets better with time and practice that' s for sure, there is a lot to learn....enjoy the ride, so to speak.

Reply to Ken

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