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Question
Posted by: lolly | 2010-09-27

financially drained

when I married him he had a temporary job,i thought things would get better for him..he struggles to find a decent job who will pay him a good salary.I managed to further my studies which makes me more fortunate than him,meaning i have a better job.we thought that he should try doing a small business, he is not educated-He stopped the not paying job and started a small business with the support of mine (finance) the business did not do well and we had to close it down.basically he now does not have income.I nOW living with the fact that I must support him and our daughter I am exhausted of working overtime to get extra money and i can no longer take it emotionally and financially.I am so drained that I want to even get out of this relationship, part of me says that he is not trying hard enough,is he using the fact that I am able to cover up all the costs which needs to be done by money,i pay bond,creche,food etc. yet I live on overdraft.i used up all my investments,credit cards to meet him halfwaye.g petrol money,money to buy newspapers to look fo jobs/faxing.what do I do?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Maybe he needs to start by getting a good job, even if it doesn't pay "a decent salary", so as to get back into the habit of proper work, and get good references and record to enable him to move on to a better paying job.
Starting a small business is uuall much harder than most people think and hope, especially if one has not much education. One of the things one can gain in any job, if one pays attention, is to learn how businesses work, and that can help one to move in that direction later on.
It would have been wise for him to get established in at least a modest-earning job before starting a family.
He must not give up and just wait around with you supporting him - even the most humble job earns something, and makes it easier to move on to a better job.
It sounds as though you are indeed being too financially supportive, and spending on him money you can't afford

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-09-27

Maybe he needs to start by getting a good job, even if it doesn't pay "a decent salary", so as to get back into the habit of proper work, and get good references and record to enable him to move on to a better paying job.
Starting a small business is uuall much harder than most people think and hope, especially if one has not much education. One of the things one can gain in any job, if one pays attention, is to learn how businesses work, and that can help one to move in that direction later on.
It would have been wise for him to get established in at least a modest-earning job before starting a family.
He must not give up and just wait around with you supporting him - even the most humble job earns something, and makes it easier to move on to a better job.
It sounds as though you are indeed being too financially supportive, and spending on him money you can't afford

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