Posted by: Babe | 2009/04/28


i was in a learnership last year.didn get that much my exbofriend of 5 years is working overseas wer he didn have to pay he paid for my rent .we had our he met someone wer he is now.but he knows wer am from so he didn mind payin for my he got a new gf that side and we are no longer together.but the reason i have to move is because he got a new offer and mus now pay his own i am working permanet.but the salary isn enaf for me to move.i aske a friend of mine for advise as i don know wat to do.i took a loan so i can pay my outstanding school fees.i cant manage to pay the loan rent and recent boyfriend asked me to move in with him so i can be able to finish with the loan.he pays rent R3000.00 i pay food and my transport.but my friend thinks i should wait with the school fees and get staff so i can move.but i want to go back to schook by next year.she thinks i don wan to be independent..i wan to be.but i canot manage.
and my bf feels am always shuttin him out when he wants to help.and i js feel bad havn to move in with makes me feel weak like i canot face chalenges in life.and i feel maybe he mite wana control me knowin the reason i moved in with him is because i need his help..i dont know wat to do.
would it be such a bad idea if i stay with him?am 23 and i don have relatives to stay with or i just being a cry baby?
the whole thing js frustrates me.
can u help?
thank you.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Lets see what other readers can suggest helpfully, as this is a financial rather than a psychiatric problem. Can you move to a new small place you can share with someone else you know or work with ? Surely you realized that it was fortunate that he could for a time pay your rent, but it was unlikely to last forever. Similarly, help from the new bf ( who may have more in mind, for his own benefit ) is also likely to be temporary.
None of us can do everything we want, at the same time. We have to work out a strategy, and work towards what we wamnt, but by bit. You need to work out priorities, what must come first, what can be second.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009/04/28

You won' t finish your studies if you cohabitate, it will only keep you back. Either find someone to share, or take out a long term loan, waitress - but do not stay with your boyfriend. you must be independednt. If you move in with your boyfrien without him marrying you - he will not respect you. He will eventually treat you like trash. Bear in mind that nowadays women have more opportunities than men, so there is absolutely no resaon for you depend on a man.

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