Our expert says:
Obviously this child has been behaving really badly. Has she always been like this, and the mother just grew resigbned to it ? Or has she began behaving so badly recently, to distract you and perhaps to disrupt your growing relationship with her mother ?
It would be fair, if even some of the examples you give are accurate, to insist that her mother recognize that this is an unhappy child who is very busy making other people unhappy too, and that if she continues in this way, not only will she destroy your relationship with her mother, but she will continue to grow into a dishonest trouble-maker who will get herself into deep trouble before long.
It is not wrong or unreasonable for you tofind it unacceptable to remain in a relationship where such awful behaviour by a child is alowed to go without remedy.
Get the mother to arrange for her child to be seen and assessed by a child psychiatrist or child psychologist, or at the child psych dept of your nearest medical school, or major provincial hospital or clinic
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