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Question
Posted by: Ronel | 2011-12-08

Fiancee doesnt like fourplay or any exitement

i need advice urgently.my fiancee has got a big problem and i dont know the cause.he doesnt like fourplay or french kissing or anything exiting in bed.i like that kind of stuff and its causing so much problems.it must be something deeper thats causing it and i dont know what.please help.i love him and i want to help him.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

I think it would be a good idea to explain to him that men and women are designed differently. Whereas men can been aroused quickly without much foreplay, infact sometimes just the sight or thought of something sexual may be all that is needed, most women require more time and effective stimulation to get to that place of arousal. It may be necessary to gently explain this to him. Explain that just as he gets an erection, so too you need to be aroused so that the genital area will be lubricated and tissues more plumped up and 'ready' for intercourse. Sometimes you may have to tell him or gently guide a hand etc to areas which may be more receptive. Remember that at different times one feels like different things, so no two experiences are necessarily the same. Good luck, it is worth the effort.

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5
Our users say:
Posted by: jim | 2011-12-10

run, run, run.

It may seem like a small issue now but you have to live with it for the next 50 years if it doesn not change.

From personal experience - people do not chage

Reply to jim
Posted by: XXX | 2011-12-09

You need to have a heart to heart chat with him about this,if he does not come to the party then you need to talk more harshly to him

Reply to XXX
Posted by: XXX | 2011-12-09

You need to have a heart to heart chat with him about this,if he does not come to the party then you need to talk more harshly to him

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Charles | 2011-12-09

Ronel i cna relate to waht you are going through, my partner is the same. Have you spoken to him about it? Maybe sit him down and have a chat to him , tell him that you are not happy with just only sex, tell him that you like to be kissed, touched, fondled etc. If you dont try you would not know and you would not be able to help him.Sorry thats my 2 cents worth

Reply to Charles
Posted by: sexologist | 2011-12-09

I think it would be a good idea to explain to him that men and women are designed differently. Whereas men can been aroused quickly without much foreplay, infact sometimes just the sight or thought of something sexual may be all that is needed, most women require more time and effective stimulation to get to that place of arousal. It may be necessary to gently explain this to him. Explain that just as he gets an erection, so too you need to be aroused so that the genital area will be lubricated and tissues more plumped up and 'ready' for intercourse. Sometimes you may have to tell him or gently guide a hand etc to areas which may be more receptive. Remember that at different times one feels like different things, so no two experiences are necessarily the same. Good luck, it is worth the effort.

Reply to sexologist

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