Posted by: Anonymous | 2009-05-06

Fiancee cold during pregnancy

Hi cb,

I am 5 mnths pregnant. It was an expected pregnancy. ever since it happened, my fiance has been cold. I found a msg in his phone from another woman, of course he denies he is having an affair. We live less than 5km away from each other. I feel I need him, but he is never there. he is saying I am being too hard on him...too demanding. most of the time when I call him at night, he does not pick up my calls. This has been going on for so long now that I am tired of talking about it, what should I do? I got so angry yesterday I told him I am considering marrying someone else. I just want him to be there for me through all these changes, but he is not there. I have wasted 5 months now stressing about this. I feel it will end up hurting my baby instead. I am thinking of just letting him go, but it' s also hard. I counted on his support, I am disappointed that I am now going through all these changes alone. We used to see each other every day, we are together for two years now. What should I do? talking has not helped so far.

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Our expert says:
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Some men may find it hard to adjust to the prospect of becoming a father, but this understandable reactuion does not include becoming interested in other women. It is reasonable to expect him to become closer and more supportive of you during the pregnancy. It could be that he is worried at finding you apparently ( from his point of view ) needy and desperate, something he doesn't knowm how to cope with ( and apparently the obvious and natural way for him to respond hasn't occurred to him ). Try just calmly reminding him that he cannot evade his responsibilities towards you and the pregnancy and your coming child, and then more mysteriously STOP calling and messaging him, and see if he becomes curious and contacts you.
What do other readers think ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: A real man | 2009-05-07

Something that he is not, for sure. What a shallow gutsless item. If you think you have problems now, imagine what it will be like in the future, if you are silly enough not to see the writing on the wall and end up marrying him ! Why not just cut him out your life and when baby arrives, get him for maintenance. You don' t need to spoil the rest of your life. Its just a pity that you did not take note of the warning signs (and they were there dear) before you decided to bring a harmless babe into this tough world. What sort of a life do you think he or she is going to have to look forward to ?? Good luck, be strongtand make a fresh start.

Reply to A real man
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009-05-06

wow that is so stressful but i think the others have said the right thing. i know its so hard and painful but you have to concentrate on yourself and your baby. leave him be and if he is interested he will come around. i think the fact he does not pick up at night is deplorable but its not worth it to stress yourself anymore. try and prepare yourself for the baby.

good luck...

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009-05-06

Hi Anonymous

Concentrate on your pregnancy rather than on him, I know you need all the support now coz ur pregnant but he will come around and see what he is missing out in you and the baby' s lives once he /she is there, STOP calling and messaging him... He will soonn realise that he also needs to be part of you and the baby' s life, since you will be marrying each other...

I have been in the same situation and you feel will so hurt especially when you find out that he has been " corresponding"  with other women and he still denies it, typical you know!!

For now treat him the same way he treats you...

Good Luck :-)

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: Purple | 2009-05-06

As much as this is upsetting you, keep quiet for a while and see what happens. Just as CS said. I feel for you girl. I think sharing a pregnancy with your bf/husband should be something so special. Really hope for your sake he comes around. BIG HUG from me, ok.

Reply to Purple

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