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Question
Posted by: JITTER | 2012-02-10

Fiance hasnt told his family or best friend about wedding

Hello i am in a bit of a predicament, we are getting married in under a month and my fiance has been putting off giving out the wedding invites to his family and best friend. So yesterday i delivered the invite to his mom myself. She didnt even know the date we were getting married. I also put on facebook that i am getting married in 29 days (im obviously excited) and his best friend went to him and asked him why he wasnt told about the wedding - i then get blasted from a dizzy height for putting it on facebook. when i asked him why he hadnt yet told his friend he said that when he feels the time is right he would have. Am i being ridiculous here or is there seriously something wrong here? I know hes a bit of a mommys boy - he visits her every day and im wondering if she hasnt now tightened her apron strings even more now that she knows we getting married? Your advice would be appreciated!

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Our expert says:
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Surely he owes all of you an explanation ? How dare he get angry with you ? IF he's genuine about marrying you, and not up to something sneaky, why the secrecy ? "When the time is rgiht" just wont wash. Thi i highly significan and ominous.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Visitor | 2012-02-10

If I understand your post well, you say he didn''t tell even his family, so you gave the invite to his mommy yourself. However, you also think that mommy may be pulling her apron strings. How is she supposedly doing that if she herself wasn''t told.

Reply to Visitor
Posted by: Ph | 2012-02-10

A very touchy feeling indeed. You should be worried, very worried. Is he even gonna pitch at the wedding? Your fiance is not a very nice person indeed, i wonder how the marriage is going to be if the wedding is already like an issue.

Reply to Ph
Posted by: ally | 2012-02-10

i know that feeling, my ex husband did the same thing. none of his family was at the wedding.after the wedding i ask his sisters and mom and they said he never told them that he is getting married.the never knew. even his friends did not know. he was from namibia so i did not know that he never told them. at the wedding it was only my friends and family....we were married for 15 years and are now divorced for 4 years.
i always felt that he was ashamed of me why i dont know as i am not ugly or fat or anything....if he is not honest with you now he will then always hide things from you. my husband was also a mummies boy and when she died he had no intrest in life or our marriage

Reply to ally
Posted by: Adri | 2012-02-10

I would be worried.. When my fiance proposed to me he was so excited and just wanted to share the news with everyone.
I''m sure you''ve discussed this issue with him? What was his excuse for not sending the invites and reasoning for getting upset over facebook?
There could be a few different reasons for him to act this way, the least horrible conclusion I can come to is that his family and friends doesn''t like you very much and that he wants to avoid conflict, and even if it''s just that, I wouldn''t want to marry someone who isn''t willing to stand up for me and our relationship to his family and friends..

Reply to Adri
Posted by: Liza | 2012-02-10

Not tellling anyone about the wedding is a danger sign all done up in flickering neon lights. There is something seriously wrong here. Are you sure he doesn''t have another girlfriend? He''s hiding something. No-one with nothing to hide will have a problem sharing things like this on facebook. Take a hard long look at this relationship. It doesn''t seem to be based on trust.

Good Luck
Liza

Reply to Liza
Posted by: Jenna | 2012-02-10

I would be worried. Invites should be sent out at least three months in advance (not to mention save the date notices)- I got an invite already from a friend getting married in SEPTEMBER. How long did it take him to tell his family and friends about the engagement? Are there any issues with you and his family/ friends?

Reply to Jenna

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