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Question
Posted by: Sad | 2012/08/13

Fiance broke up

Doc, my fiance broke up with me. He says he now only wants to be friends and see if something develops again in future. I feel like I am going to die. This man is my whole life. And how on earth can he one day start loving me again ???????????
I am torn between rage and sadness!!! How do I switch off my feelings???

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Fortunately, you are not going to die, and this man is NOT "your whole life". He has acted, apparently, selfishly and unkindly, and may not be worthy of your unconditional love. His suggestion of "just being friends and see what happens" is ridiculous and not at all practical, and would make your unpleasant feelings worse and longer lasting. If this relationship is over, make a clean break, and move on. It sounds as though he has chosen to start a relationship with someone else, but wants to keep you hanging around like a spare tire, as a substitute for when the other woman is unavailable, or if that relationship doesn't work out well. That's insulting.
Recognize your anger, respect it, talk this over with family and/opr friends, and don't give yourself false and unhelpful messages. Keep nusy with other activities, and remind yourself that someone who has chosen to treat you this way doesn't deserve your love, and that you will in time meet someone much better and kinder, and that hanging on to false dreams of this guy, will only delay finding someone better

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

5
Our users say:
Posted by: Mr T | 2012/08/15

SIGH......Love Sucks

Reply to Mr T
Posted by: anon | 2012/08/14

one thing you must know never marry a man that you love more than he loves you we not supporse to love men they are the ones that suporse to love us it will never work move on sistars

my husban was advising my sister in law (his little sisiter ) about relatioship and he said the same way, from a man''s point of vew

Reply to anon
Posted by: leila | 2012/08/14

It happenend to me. The one week we spoke about getting married. The next he called and dumped me over the phone. I felt like I was going crazy. He was in another town. I called him a 100 times a day. He stopped answering my calls / sms. I cried screamed. Our friends became his. Luckily I had one friend that was only mine and not his as well. My friend stood by me and I got over him. I completely cut all ties with him and his friends. 10 years later I am extremely happy. I have a wonderful partner we have been together for 7 years. We have 2 beautiful boys and is expecting a baby girl in december. I have never looked back. YOU ARE A STRONG BEAUTIFUL WOMAN AND YOU WILL SURVIVE WITHOUT HIM! I PROMISE.

Reply to leila
Posted by: Meghann | 2012/08/14

Face it, he is no longer interested! Cut your losses and move on! It is really easy to do taking into consideration that he has broken off your engagement. Maybe he has met someone else and as CS says, wants to keep you hanging around like a spare tyre! Carry on with your life (he is NOT your life) - you will meet someone who is worthy of your love.

Reply to Meghann
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/08/13

Fortunately, you are not going to die, and this man is NOT "your whole life". He has acted, apparently, selfishly and unkindly, and may not be worthy of your unconditional love. His suggestion of "just being friends and see what happens" is ridiculous and not at all practical, and would make your unpleasant feelings worse and longer lasting. If this relationship is over, make a clean break, and move on. It sounds as though he has chosen to start a relationship with someone else, but wants to keep you hanging around like a spare tire, as a substitute for when the other woman is unavailable, or if that relationship doesn't work out well. That's insulting.
Recognize your anger, respect it, talk this over with family and/opr friends, and don't give yourself false and unhelpful messages. Keep nusy with other activities, and remind yourself that someone who has chosen to treat you this way doesn't deserve your love, and that you will in time meet someone much better and kinder, and that hanging on to false dreams of this guy, will only delay finding someone better

Reply to cybershrink

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