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Question
Posted by: hopeful | 2009-11-21

female orgasm

Hi - I am 50 and my girlfriend of 3 years 53. I believe she is after money(she costs me approx R40k monthly. Regardless in my opinion she has never achieved orgasm . I avoid sex because always get out frustrated. With her I have climaxed 4 times the last 3 years.I never had a problem before.
I am not circumsized but always keep myself clean. I will not engage in sex unless I have washed prior, In the beginning she touched me but in disgust let go. This stuck with me.
Can a woman have an orgasm with no outward signs ie flush,convulsions, nipple erections etc

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageAgeing and Sexuality expert

It sounds as if sex is the last problem you need to focus on in this relationship. You sound angry, resentful, unhappy in yourself and in your feelings towards your girlfriend. Sex can become the playground to act out unsaid angers and conflicts.
I suggest you get some relationship counselling. With both of you holding back on orgasm, I wonder what else you are withholding from yourselves and each other. She makes you feel sexually uncomfortable and self conscious and low in confidence.
In terms of women's signs of orgasms - well, each woman shows her own unique response - mostly she feels a sense of satisfaction post orgasm.
Go and get some counselling as a couple.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Ageing and Sexuality expert | 2009-11-28

It sounds as if sex is the last problem you need to focus on in this relationship. You sound angry, resentful, unhappy in yourself and in your feelings towards your girlfriend. Sex can become the playground to act out unsaid angers and conflicts.
I suggest you get some relationship counselling. With both of you holding back on orgasm, I wonder what else you are withholding from yourselves and each other. She makes you feel sexually uncomfortable and self conscious and low in confidence.
In terms of women's signs of orgasms - well, each woman shows her own unique response - mostly she feels a sense of satisfaction post orgasm.
Go and get some counselling as a couple.

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