Posted by: Linapk | 2008-11-13

feels like i am about to crash

Dear CS,

I gave birth 3 months ago and my daughter is the light in my life. My relationship with her father is not so great. In the beginning he did not help with her at all and It frustrated me, he expected me to clean the house and and and whilst on maternity leave.

Now I find myself a bit lost, he is finally helping out and my daughter is wonderful but I feel like I am standing on the side of the road wanting to cross the road to happyness but I can' t I am to affraid I will trip and crash into a oncomming car.

Currently I am building my day around my daughter and I feel guilty for doing so. I should not be dependant on her on whether I will have a good day. I will come to work and have a serious crap day and all that gets me through the day is knowing that tonight I can see my girl and spend some time with her before she falls asleep. I spend hours just looking at her and I will get tears in my eyes because I can not beleive what a miricle she is.

She has really had a calming effect on me as my boyfriend I and would have an argument before she was born and I would argue back but since her birth I refuse to argue infront of her so when he tries to pick a fight I take her to my room and watch tv there.
I force myself to stay calm because I know that it affects her.

I only went back to work on 3 Nov. and I do not know if perhaps its my hormones, going back to work, missing my daughter or just being the end of the year blues that people always get.

I feel that I need to see a counselor to just get my head straight but my boyfriend and I also need counselling as our relationship is very rockey at the moment.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Enjoy the miracle, I'm sure she's worth it. But I agree that you would personally benefit from some counselling sessions devoted to sorting out your own frame of mind, and also some couples counselling with your boyfriend --- call FAMSA for suggestions of potential counsellors near you --- and ask whether these would see you individually and together --- I'm sure most of them would do so

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