Posted by: Lindy | 2013-01-24

Feelings for my old car

Dear Cybershrink
I recently advertised my older than 20 years car. This car has meant a lot to us - we have been through bad financial times, had to re-finance her, she is basically like a person to us. Looked after well and passed down to my mom who no longer wishes to drive her (71). I put in the ad she is old, she is not perfect, she has problems but she goes and she is a roadworthied, licensed vehicle. A guy phones me to see it. Fine. Then I hear he wants to drive it to the TVL. I am really upset because on the one hand if you sell something or give a gift...BUT I cannot bear the thought of it just being destroyed and driven into the ground. My ad actually states it needs to be driven respectfully on local errands. A person (who is only able to make 2 payments) approached me and sounds like the right person to give this car to. Am I being ridiculous? I used to laugh at that ad when the guy cried as he handed over his guys. I can''t stand things being destroyed and not taken care of. Maybe it is because I had to grow up so fast and take care of myself and my family -things have not come easy to me. Can I just be honest and tell the potential buyer why I won''t sell the car to them?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Not ridiculous at all. Its your car, and you're entitled to feel about it as you wish, and to choose the right person to sell it to. WHy not politely tell the potential buyer ( in time, surely ther'll be others ? ) whyyou feel bothered, and see what he feels about it ? I think those of us who have not spent our lives being rich, value objects more, and respect them more, than some of those today who don't care about the price of anythng, and consider all objects and people, replaceable

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Our users say:
Posted by: Kaci | 2013-02-08

wow, I must admit, I have never valued material things. I am so shocked that people value them so much. I guess it is because I have never owned a car pass two years. Maybe am not that type of a person. If something is that useless why even sell it. You do not even want it to be driven,why not put it in a glass and protect it forever then.

Reply to Kaci
Posted by: Gita Tanner | 2013-01-25

Hi, i can feel your pain.. I had my first car in 1988 and after many years my husband decided that we should sell it. it was a Honda Ballade. i grew so attached to it that i point blankly refused. so it stood in the garage for a long time. Eventually a buyer came along and purchased it. i left the house cos i did not want to see the vehicle being driven away. When i got back, i walked into the garage and felt the emptiness.. I was so attached to it emotionally that i cried. My kids were little then and they could not believe that i cried.. i creid for the car for a long time.. Up till this daym when i think about it i get highly emotional.. it was part of me and y life that i had to give away.. but time heals and you will eventually get over it.. good luck gita

Reply to Gita Tanner
Posted by: Emily | 2013-01-25

I work for a corporate company, I am the only person driving a Tazz right now. I have gotten so attached to it so much that I have made up my mind that when I buy another car, my Tazz is not going anywhere. It''s been with me through thick and thin. Most people don''t understand this, but I guess we differ in nature. If you really feel that bad, I suggest you keep it. Maybe try at a later stage, the thing is that a car loses value, but I know what you mean, it feels like it''s your beloved pet that you don''t want to let go.

Reply to Emily
Posted by: Deeve | 2013-01-24

I see my old car (1984 model!) quite often and it slays me. I''ve eventually gotten over the fact that the bonnets been sat on, the car now has dents, and the youngster hasn''t polished it ever!! I know how you feel and it will take time to get over these hurdles. I also sold my beautiful home, and to this day I drive past it (very occassionally) - it has been kept in outstanding condition. So there you are...some people treasure others possesions while the next may not keep it in the condition you had it. All I can say is sell it ''voetstoets'' to who ever has ALL the cash ( NO payments and let them pay it into your account at the bank counter while standing next to you) and make sure the papers are signed keeping your entiltled copy of the transfer of ownership document and go and take the car off your name the very next day at the licencing authorities. Then the next owner can do what they like with it. Good Luck, for people like us it''s always going to be a nightmare parting with treasured possesions.

Reply to Deeve
Posted by: Chris758 | 2013-01-24

Lindy I know how you feel. I have a Tazz and this little car was the varsity car for my daughters. I really will have feelings when I sell the car!! Just be carefull andlet the person pay the deposit and when they bring the second payment they can have the car. People are not so trustworthy anymore!!!

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