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Question
Posted by: Nkok0 | 2009/12/20

Feelings for another man

i feel like I' ll be losing out on love and life if I let this other man go, I' m in a very unhappy marriage...hubby and I have so many issues. he' s hiv +ve and I would like to have more kids. I thought abt letting that go but I find myself yearning for kids, and the sperm wash procedure is expensive and risky and why woulld I wanna do that with someone who has cheated on me, many times told me how much he doesn' t want me. I' ve been for therapy twice by myself and both therapist told me I need to leave him. I just didn' t have the strength to and not having a job didn' t help. Sometimes when I look at him just see dollar signs and that he' s the father of my girls. We are suppose to go for couple therapy but I don' t think so anymore.

I want to discuss divorce with my older sister and see what she thinks. i wanna tell her everything..he asked me not to tell anyone abt his status...but I want to tell just my sister...does that sound like a good idea?? I don' t want my family to question and judge my decision since I come from a family that doesn' t believe in divorce, I' ll b the 1st. I thought abt it, I don' t wanna cheat hubby so the best thing for us is to divorce so I can be with this man.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

IF he has continued to cheat on you, and two therapists have concluded that you would be better off by leaving, why do you hesitate ?
YOu are fre to chat tomyour sister and tell her all aspects of the problem for which you want advice from her.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: andrea | 2009/12/21

sometimes you must just follow your heart.u don' t love this man anymore so you not leaving him because of his hiv status.just please make sure that you are not thinking about divorce because of the other man.you have a responsibility to make you happy and that will be more positive for your kids(when you are happy).talk to your sister only if she can be trusted not to tell anyone else about your husband' s status as he has a right to his privacy.another thing is that your family has nothing to do with your marriage and so take their advice but remember that this your life journey and not your parents'  life.so take a decision that will ultimately make you a happier woman and one that you won' t regret should things not work out with the other man.goodluck

Reply to andrea
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009/12/21

IF he has continued to cheat on you, and two therapists have concluded that you would be better off by leaving, why do you hesitate ?
YOu are fre to chat tomyour sister and tell her all aspects of the problem for which you want advice from her.

Reply to cybershrink

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