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Question
Posted by: Gorgeous | 2011-01-31

Feeling very lonely

I am a 25 year old, dating 29 year old guy for 6 mnths now, at first we decied not to rush the relationship. he has a 4 year old while i have 3 and 1 year olds, so i am actually in the long term looking to settle down with the right person. he is quiet distant, and he says its because he was so used to long distance realtionships, and at once had suffered a mild stroke because mother of the child hurt him.he still cant open up to me, gets upset very quickly most times, we hardly spend time together and when we do, it should be when he wants to and unde rhis conditions, have tried speaking to him about this, and he says i should just be patient until he gets used to the idea, of being in relationship with someone so close. after six mnths we have hardly spent time together and sometime when we go somewhere he insists on bringin his friends along. i have met up with someone who i have known and this guy is very sweet and is proposing we become an item, i have expalined to him that i am in a relationship and because its new, we still finding our feet.....this new guys seems very genuine and he too has 2 kids from previous marriage. i have since told him we can be nothing more and he told me that it will give a chance to sort his life out himself.....i honestly feel very tempted, because the guy i am in a relationship with is so distant yet very close to me and it doesnt bother him that we not spending time together. i need adv please

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Our expert says:
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He sounds as though he has been sufficiently hurt by whatever happened before, to be very cautious a bout relationships. Why not consider seeing a couples counsellor together, to explore these issues, which could benefit both of you even if you eventually decided not to stay together ?
Bu now it sounds as though you have met yet another guy, also with a history of failed relationships and children, with whom some similar problems might arise.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: gorgeous | 2011-02-01

i want to consider moving on , without both the guys. i mean 6months is a long time to know whether you have something going or whether the relationship is going down the drain. and if i do choose to stay, it means i will be controlled and have no say what so ever, it is draining me emotionallly. thank you for advice

Reply to gorgeous
Posted by: Soul | 2011-02-01

I agree with Gogo, he wants things on his terms a relationship doesn''t work like that. my thoughts are his not serious about you if his being so casual about the relationship. You might want to consider moving on.

Reply to Soul
Posted by: Gogo | 2011-02-01

u ya nya, what are u waiting for, get out, he do things in his own terms i wont tolerate that kak

Reply to Gogo
Posted by: sharmank | 2011-01-31

what do you want?what are getting out of the current relationship?u might have two kids but u still young,enjoy life and have fun,fun,fun, when mr right comes along,he will have your best interest at heart,u will know and thenn settle.desperation and rebound,dangerous combination.

Reply to sharmank

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