Our expert says:
These events seem to have been, as it were, UNCOUPLED - as though each of you were marching to a different drummer, and not ready to committ at the same time. Before demanding specific dates, don't you both need to sit down for a long, calm chat about just what each of you expect and hope for, and a broad time-table within which such specifics would fit ?
After 5 years, its not unreasonable for him to demonstrate his sincerity about this latest decision of his, by at least naming a month, and the pair of you can then rest a bit in December and plan more specifically towards that month in the early new year. Also, does he plan to signal the sincerity of his decision, by telling his friands and yours, his family and yours ? If not, why not ?
Before choposing a venue and caterer, this is an important time to explore the realities of the relationship, compatibility in problem-solving styles, and so on.
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