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Question
Posted by: Bella | 2010/09/23

Feel so sad

Dear Cybershrink
It feels as if the last 10 years are busy crashing down on me. I went through an extremely traumatic experience in 1999. I did go for trauma councelling, the overwhelming feeling of survival was so strong at that point that it was decided that I am dealing with the problem well and further councelling would not benefit me. Between 2000 and 2006 I have lost two close family members. I do believe death is inevitable I however are now berating myself with I should have been nicer to my grandmother, I should have respected my father more and the realisation that it is to late is sometimes a bit overwhelming. At times when my mind goes I realise how alone and sad I am. My relationship with my mother is a strong long distance relationship. Spending a day with her is intollerable as I keep on focussing on her negative points. Earlier this year I " lost"  my job. I now realise this was for the best. Reflecting on my time at the institution is painful as I realise how much i allowed myself to be abused. I sometimes compare it with a battered syndrome. Today I feel very angry at them and would like to cause harm to them all, ruin their lives and let the world know how miserable they are and how they treat everyone. I know that putting myself back in the job market would solve my issues but I am fearing going through the same and working with the same type of people again. I am not domesticated at all. My husband has given me the opportunity to take a break but it is becoming so bad that at times I do not even get dressed, sit in front of the TV the whole day with the curtains drawn. I am waiting for the spark to come back in my life, for the magic moment when everything is going to be OK be it just does not want to happen.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

EVen when one has handled an episode of severe trauma well, one may remain vulerable to future episodes of trauma and loss, and may react more severely than otherwise likely. For instance, soldiers who had suffered previous trauma, even many years earlier, were more vulnerable to developing significant Post-traumatic symptoms when serving in the Gulf War.
Clarify your bitter and unhelpful regrets. Maybe you COULD have been nicer to your grandmother and father, but I'm msure you were as nice to them as you were able to be at that time - we are not all saints who can be infinitely nice when under stress and facing problems, ourselves.
When you speak of sitting in the dark watching TV all day, that's more than a rest - that sounds like significant depression and a giving up rather than regrouping position. See your psychiatrist again to revise your treatment plans

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/09/24

EVen when one has handled an episode of severe trauma well, one may remain vulerable to future episodes of trauma and loss, and may react more severely than otherwise likely. For instance, soldiers who had suffered previous trauma, even many years earlier, were more vulnerable to developing significant Post-traumatic symptoms when serving in the Gulf War.
Clarify your bitter and unhelpful regrets. Maybe you COULD have been nicer to your grandmother and father, but I'm msure you were as nice to them as you were able to be at that time - we are not all saints who can be infinitely nice when under stress and facing problems, ourselves.
When you speak of sitting in the dark watching TV all day, that's more than a rest - that sounds like significant depression and a giving up rather than regrouping position. See your psychiatrist again to revise your treatment plans

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Liza | 2010/09/23

Bella, my heart goes out to you. I know exactly how you feel. Once I was so sad and lonely that I took a walk outside with it raining, in the dark, only wearing skimpy pajamas. This was years ago when I was still married. My ex-husband didn''t understand. He has never even been close to depressed. At least your husband is giving you support. You''re depressed, feeling out of control in a powerless way. You say that you''ve been in an institution - what kind? Psychiatric? Because I really want to suggest that you go to a psychiatric clinic - private if you have a medical aid, but I''ve been at a state facility that wasn''t too bad.

I would really suggest that you see a psychiatrist and discuss medication options. An antidepressant might just be that magic miracle. If you go to a psychiatric clinic for 3 weeks (that is usually what the medical aid pays for), you can stabilize on your medication, get rest and see a psychologist every weekday to learn how to handle the negative thoughts that you have about whatever has happened. I''ve done Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and it''s great once you really get into it.

If you''re interested, email me and we can chat. My addy is elizebethe at yahoo dot com - Please note the spelling of elizebeth.

Good Luck
Liza

Reply to Liza
Posted by: Lin | 2010/09/23

Waiting for the spark to come back isn''t going to help you much. Only you can put the spark back. Why not, while waiting for replies on your c.v., join an organisation like the SPCA or give some of your free time at a children''s home and help people or animals that need your help and care. They will definately appreciate it and you will have a reason to get up and dressed in the morning.

Reply to Lin

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