Posted by: Raymond | 2010-10-27


Am 22 and my girlfriend is 21, I feel bad about her past because she had sex with a guy of 22 when she was 15 and they spent 3yrs together. And she was in 4 other relationships before me.

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Our expert says:
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If this is something that troubles you, it would be advisable to discuss this with her. We cant judge her for her previous relationships without understanding her as a person and the nature of her relationships and why they failed. For all sexually active people, we advice that your'l do HIV testing prior to becoming sexually active. This will help to reassure you and increase your trust in her. You need to decide how you feel about her and if these feelings are strong enough, you will be able to forget her past. Be grateful for her honesty. Sometimes we have to go through a few thorns before finding the rose.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anon to ? | 2010-11-01

Damn, oops, I maybe have also been with her... Sorry, but she couldnt say no to anyone

Reply to Anon to ?
Posted by: LO | 2010-10-31

HA HA Ha- my partner''s sex history - I don''t want to know, as far as I am concerned she was a virgin when she met me and her sexual escapades started there and are ending there......somethings will haunt you forever.....remember woman will give it to any good talker - they call it mistake NOPE - CHIEF IS IN THEIR DNA.So do yourself a favour, end the relationship, start a new one and assume she is a virgin, don''t ask too many questions believe me you will not like the answer

Reply to LO
Posted by: Dave | 2010-10-28

People make mistakes and grow during the process. Women perceive sex different than men. Lots of teenage girls get lured into having sex because they ache for love, attention and acceptance. This is especially true for girls with a low self-esteem. Suddenly someone is truly ''nice'' to them but in the end they only get hurt more and get labeled sluts etc.
The only value the past has is what you can learn from it. Possibly your GF learned during these experiences and is a wiser woman because of it.

Reply to Dave
Posted by: ? | 2010-10-28

im not judging her or anything just trying deal with whats inside me, and i have everything to do with her past even though i cant change it as much as she does with mine, definitely wont think of settling down with someone i know nothing about, i didnt say its fine on my side and not on hers, she probably has the same feeling about my past or not.

Reply to ?
Posted by: angel | 2010-10-28

raymond stop living in the past consentrate more in present time

Reply to angel
Posted by: Lego | 2010-10-28

This is why it will always be better to give yourself only to one person for life. It''s not about religion, not only about std''s. It''s about emotional health. Maybe our forefathers were not so stupid. I am so glad I waited for my marriage partner! And I am so glad she did the same! Life is not only about sex! Why can''t people understand that?

Reply to Lego
Posted by: Nice Guy | 2010-10-28

Do not worry too much about things you cannot change, then you will be fine

Reply to Nice Guy
Posted by: Woman | 2010-10-28

Then you are a hypocrite in the worst possible way, ?. It''s okay for you to have slept with 20 partners in your (short) 24 years, but you expect your partner to be pure and innocent? Your double standards show overgrown ego and undergrown common sense. Jeez, what modern,self assured woman would ever think of marrying a guy who takes one small part of what she''s done before she met him and turns it into a moral shooting gallery. Especially when he''s done more! Her vagina,her choice,her past. NOTHING to do with you or your relationship with her.

Hmmm, do you also still believe in the tooth fairy and father christmas? It''s not okay to have had so many partners for either of you, it''s unsafe and you should know it.

Reply to Woman
Posted by: ? | 2010-10-28

so what if he is planning to marry her? im also in a similiar situation whereby my girlfriend of 21 has had 10 partners before me, im 24 and have had almost double her number but 10 at 21 is qiute a lot and i love her so much and even have plans to marry her but im struggling to get over the thought that she has been around so much, i keep thinking she was giving it up too easily.

Reply to ?
Posted by: Woman | 2010-10-28

Ok, you have only given one half of your history here. How many sexual partners have you had before her?

The second question I have for you,is are you planning to marry her?

Reply to Woman
Posted by: Me | 2010-10-27

While it may sound right to know your partner''s sexual history, just make sure you can handle whatever it is she throws at you.

Reason why some women will date older guys is that they are more understanding of her relationship / sexual past than the her peers, i.e. the likelihood that a girl of your age will have sex before you is more than the other way around.

I would suggest you get over fast, for the sake of your relationship and your sanity.

Reply to Me

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