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Question
Posted by: Annie | 2008-11-05

Feel like moving out...

Hi doc.
I just have to talk to someone right now. It is my 1st time writing to an " agony column" , and I feel pretty dumb doing so, but I feel like I' m going out of my mind.
I have been struggling to conceive for 5 years now.
My husband has a daughter from a previous relationship. She sees me as her 2nd " mother" , and I used to adore her and spoil her rotten. But I have started resenting her. I KNOW it' s not her fault I can' t conceive, but I can' t help feeling this way, especially because my husband cannot wait to have her over every 2nd week, and phones her every night. He is CONSTANTLY telling me how CUTE she is, how whitty she is, how well she does at school, how intelligent she is, how pretty she is, what a daddy' s girl she is. He totally prays to the ground she walks on. He also has this attitude regarding my infertility problems and says if it happens it happens, if it doesn' t, so what. It' s like he is content and happy with the child he has, he couldn' t care less that I would ALSO like to share a baby with the man I love and share my life with! I' m going out of my mind. So much so that I' m considering moving out on my own. I cannot stand to be around his child any longer. Help me.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I didn't actually realize this was an Agony column, though I do feel the pain.
So see a counsellor to learn better ways of coping with your current inability to conceive, which isn't your fault, just as it isn't the fault of the child. Be happy that your husband is a good father to her, and that she considers you a good mother. You can share THIS child with the man you love.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Annie | 2008-11-05

P.S: Each time I speak to my husband about how I feel, he just loses his temper and tells me that she is HIS DAUGHTER, and she' s not GOING ANYWHERE, and that if I force him to choose, he' ll pack my clothes for me.
I have NEVER asked him to choose, just to be a BIT more considerate. I will NEVER keep him from his daughter.

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