Our expert says:
He sounds more like a possible friend than a definite spouse.
It's sad when anyone paints themselves into a corner by making sweeping declarations and vows about what they will NEVER do, or that NO other person will ever love them, or whatever.
He shouldn't blame you for changing --- change is inevitable, and we either adapt or fail, and he sounds reluctant to adapt. Its hard to feel sorry for someone who refuses help or counselling, when they somobviously need to sort themselves out. If one insists on remaining unaltered and on refusing all appropriate help, then one must unfortunately accept that this will lead to problems and sadness. And if one refuses to avoid such problems, one must otherwise simply endure them.
It is sensible for you to recognize when a relationship is not and will not be fulfilling, and to move on. Encourage him to do likewise, and remind him you are prepared to join him in counselling if and when he decides to do so. Don't let your feelings of some sort of obligation to him, prevent you from finding the happiness in life which you deserve. Are you actually in love with him ? Or in habit ?
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