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Question
Posted by: Disappointed | 2011/06/15

Feel betrayed

My partner decided to lie to me about preventing, as she knew that I was not ready for a baby and now she is pregnant. Last month I discovered she did it deliberately to fall pregnant. What that created is lack of trust, as I trusted her as my partner to have agreed with me that we''ll make a baby later in the relationship as I prefer to have a child in a marriage. I some how hate her. Scared of what else she is plotting behind my back. Feeling emotionally detacthed from her. I have a deep sense of betrayal. How can one go on in a relationship that proves to be unauthentic?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Some women do, indeed, choose to lie to and deceive their partner to create a pregnancy, which is a special form of cheating, and grossly unfair to partner and child. Of course it creates lack of trust - and its a form of blackmail / coercion that is highly improper. You have indeed bein very seriously betrayed.
If you decide not to continue in a relationship with such a deeply deceitful and selfish woman, that would be entirely understandable. If you do decide to continue, then surely couples counselling is needed to try to sort this out.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Laurei | 2011/06/15

Unfortunately, these things happen in life. SO for the baby''s sake try to work out something amicable, and if you decide not to be with the woman, maintain a civil relationship of some kind. I know its easier said than done, but there is a little one involved....

Reply to Laurei
Posted by: Disappointed | 2011/06/15

@ Laurei, it was not a mistake it was dileberate. She is purely selfish, I''m only worried and stressed that it wont be possible to raise my baby in a manner I wanted to as I don''t think I can live with the person that betrayed me to this extent.

Reply to Disappointed
Posted by: Laurei | 2011/06/15

Why didnt you use a condom? ANyway too late now. Perhaps it was an honest mistake? You know antibiotics and medication cause the pill to be less effective. Anyway, disucss your feelings with her see her response, then decide whether she really did mean to trap you. If you really dont want a baby, how about adoption? It would be unfair on the little one to be exposed to a disgruntled and begruding daddy. HOw aboiut getting parents and family involved to assist.
Just to allay some of your fear, please note that ones life automatically adjusts to make space for a little one, however this only works if the parents WANT to be together and are INLOVE.
Good Luck

Reply to Laurei
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/06/15

Some women do, indeed, choose to lie to and deceive their partner to create a pregnancy, which is a special form of cheating, and grossly unfair to partner and child. Of course it creates lack of trust - and its a form of blackmail / coercion that is highly improper. You have indeed bein very seriously betrayed.
If you decide not to continue in a relationship with such a deeply deceitful and selfish woman, that would be entirely understandable. If you do decide to continue, then surely couples counselling is needed to try to sort this out.

Reply to cybershrink

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