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Question
Posted by: JohnWayne | 2009/12/14

Fed up? or just over it?

Ive been dating this girl for 3 almost 4 months. I had a previous ppost where i explained that she is forever packing her stuff at the mere sight of an arguement and she threatens to leave the whole time!! tells me she hates me, she doesnt love me, regret ever meeting me etc etc the list goes on!! - now, ive tried to be as supportive as possible as she is a bit unstable and VERY emotional. I tried looking at myself and where i can change things to improve the situation for the both of us, but lately im just irritated with her, when she wants to kiss me im irritated, when she says that she loves me im irritated, its like im not interested at all anymore, but in a sense still fell too bad to dump her??? will i be able to get over this and light the fire again, or has she just hurt me way too much that i switched off?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

She sounds ambivalent about being in a relationship, and may well need ( but not recognize the need for ) counselling herself to deal with issues that probably arose long before she met you.Friend's comments are gentle and helpful. But I would wonder whether this woman is ready to commit herself to ANY relationship until she has sorted out her personal emotional baggage

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009/12/15

She sounds ambivalent about being in a relationship, and may well need ( but not recognize the need for ) counselling herself to deal with issues that probably arose long before she met you.Friend's comments are gentle and helpful. But I would wonder whether this woman is ready to commit herself to ANY relationship until she has sorted out her personal emotional baggage

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Friend | 2009/12/14

take a step back from the relationship... build the friendship and trust... talk to each other. her actions are saying that she is unsure of the relationship, and theres more than lightly a fundermental issue with the relationship.. like trust, understanding. You both need to be able to talk about your deepest thoughts comfortably and then work though them together. The trick is never over react to what she says, and as long as she wants to work at the relationship, there' s always a chance of it working.

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