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Question
Posted by: Scared | 2012/10/02

Fear of dying

I am 24 years old. I am in a stable, loving relationship and I have a job that I enjoy and in which I am faring well. I am struggling with something though and I do not know how to stop it. I constantly think about death. I have a terrifying fear of dying and it is worsening day by day. I wake up in the middle of the night, panicked by the thought. I think about it the whole day and this influences everything I do. I am too scared to plan too far ahead for anything. I decline social invites because I am too scared to travel too far away from home or to have us drive during night time. I lost a parent 10 years ago (we were very close) and I did not see it coming  I never thought about dying then and even for a few years after that it did not occupy my mind as it is now. I even went through a “ reckless”  phase when I was 21 where I used to go out a lot with friends, drinking and staying out until the early hours. I never used to think about dying. It never had such a hold over my life as it does now. I have seen a psychologist a while ago after going through a tough time with family members, but she said it is normal to think about mortality at my age. I don’ t think it is normal though. I really am scared for myself and my loved ones. There are dangers all around us. Am I being irrational having it influence my life so much or is there a way to banish it from my thoughts. I know no one can jump the gun, but am I going to live in fear for the rest of my life? What if all goes well and I end up living for 50 or 60 years? Every day I wake up I’ m scared for the day ahead. Please give me some advice...

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Scared, I think you're talking about something a bit different from what Romany is talking about.
Whatyou're describing sounds more like a variety of anxiety disorder, perhaps phobic anxiety disorder, in which one is chroniclly anxious, with a fpocus especially on the dangers of life and the prospect of drisk around you.
Others of us have a broader concern about the very high crime rate in our country combined with a government that has consistently shown no really genuine will to do anything about it. Even city council members want private security systems and services ( paid for by us of course ). Personally, I think that should be banned - if the protection of the ordinary SAPS isn't good enough for them, then it isn't good enough for us either. Public services would be greatly better if the politicians at every level were required by law to rely solely on public services, and not allowed to use out money to buy special care for themselves.
I recognize personally Romany's concerns about crime I have been victim of significant crime 3 times in the past 2 years in my supermarket alone, let alone further criminal events outside of it. Its not easy to consider such anxieties as pathological when they're all too realistic and practical.

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Our users say:
Posted by: coold dued | 2012/10/05

Sadly I dont think our problems is going to go away soon. Evil circles, the current high salary demands and strikes is going to create more people without jobs soon, the result more crime. You can only try and secure yourselve at night and maybe if you can , self defence lessons and learn how to neautralize attackers, you can even if you are small. this will also teach you to overcome fear. carry pepper spray and learn how to use it etc. regards to your fear of death, i use to be like that, you can get medicine for that from your gp even. these tabs are addictv. sometimes.

Reply to coold dued
Posted by: Scared | 2012/10/02

Hi Romany - I do not mind at all, I am sure a lot of people feel like this (either on a broader level or more personally)  I have felt like this for months now, but I was not aware of this forum and now I am glad I found it as it is a good platform to seek advice.

CS - I agree with your standing on how the Goverment is handling crime overall  this is causing a lot of people unnecc. anxiety and tension.

Reply to Scared
Posted by: Romany | 2012/10/02

I hope you do not mind, I am reposting your last question as CS does not come back to questions already answered. I too am interested in his reply.

Reply to Romany
Posted by: Scared | 2012/10/02

Hi CS

Thank you for the reply - Romany commented on my original posting. But what do you sugest I do in order to move forward? your answers given seems to have stemmed from Romany''s comment, which I am sure he/she is grateful for, but I would like your advice on my problem at hand.

Reply to Scared
Posted by: Romany | 2012/10/02

CS, I am realy looking forward to your reply on this one.
I too experience this, combined with a constant fear of being a victim of violence I am absorbed with negative thoughts and I hate the criminals After being a victim of crime twice in 3 months,and seeing crime daily.

Reply to Romany
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/10/02

Scared, I think you're talking about something a bit different from what Romany is talking about.
Whatyou're describing sounds more like a variety of anxiety disorder, perhaps phobic anxiety disorder, in which one is chroniclly anxious, with a fpocus especially on the dangers of life and the prospect of drisk around you.
Others of us have a broader concern about the very high crime rate in our country combined with a government that has consistently shown no really genuine will to do anything about it. Even city council members want private security systems and services ( paid for by us of course ). Personally, I think that should be banned - if the protection of the ordinary SAPS isn't good enough for them, then it isn't good enough for us either. Public services would be greatly better if the politicians at every level were required by law to rely solely on public services, and not allowed to use out money to buy special care for themselves.
I recognize personally Romany's concerns about crime I have been victim of significant crime 3 times in the past 2 years in my supermarket alone, let alone further criminal events outside of it. Its not easy to consider such anxieties as pathological when they're all too realistic and practical.

Reply to cybershrink

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