Posted by: Lisa | 2010-01-20

Fear of Divorce

I' ve been married 7 yrs, and my marriage is nd has always been in a very unhappy one. He has treated me so bad in the past and I feel everything is catching up with me. I remember how I used to cry and wanting to leave but I couldn' t do it. I went for counseling and my therapist told me my self-esteem was really low she helped me with it but I still couldn' t leave. I felt ashamed, what r people gonna say if I divorce especially because his family and friends were not supportive of our relationship at the beginning. I stayed because I wanted to prove something to those people. Now I do want to leave I' m so unhappy, and unfortunately I' ve left South Africa for Europe when my husband got a job here and I haven' t been able to find a job and I' ve been home for 5 yrs now. I feel I can leave finally but I' m unemployed with 2 kids. Now I have a different kind of fear, how am I going to survive, how am I going to support myself and my kids? Will i have to start using public transport again in South Africa?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageDivorce support expert

Your fear is totally understandable. A lot of time was spent for you being unhappy which contributed to damaging your self esteem. A damaged self esteem will hold you back and feed you constant and further fears about yourself and your life. Yest you have reached a point where you say you feel you can finally leave now. You are at a turning point where you have found the strength to claim your deserved happiness but you still have many uncertainties about what will happen. We cannot predict the future and there are no guarantees in life but you can trust that you have the possibilities within you to take that step and make it work for you. Engaging into single parenthood responsibilities can be very daunting. Think your steps carefully. There is no need to put yourself and children at risk. Explore your options and then make the best choices for you at that time.

A divorce is not breakup point in your life, but a change of direction.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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