Posted by: jinx | 2009-01-13


I found out on Sunday that the guy I have been seeing for 2.5 months (I dated him previously for a year) thought of me as a sex buddy, and I thought there was a lot more to our relationship than that.
I am extremely hurt as I found out via a friend of his. The prob is that we spent a lot of time tog, I met a lot of his friends, went away with him for a week with his family, he bought me a R6000 xmas present, had many cosy lunches and dinners together, he held my hand in public, he said I was fun and felt comfortable with is this a sex friend??
He now tells me that whatever we do together, he loves, be it just watching tv or going out. I havent heard from him since our fight on Sunday.
I am so disappointed in him, as I thought our relationship was much deeper than this. Should I let him go??
I will find having another relationship hard as this issue will be constantly on my mind i.e. is he using me for sex or does he actually want a relationship with me!!

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Our expert says:
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Apart from the sex, did the pair of you actually spend any time in serious talking, to understand each other better, and to grasp what each of you thought the relationship actually was, and where it was or wasn't going ?
Maybe you each sincerely believed in your personal views of that the relationship was, without discovering until now that they were so different and perhaps incompatible ? Maybe he did want a relationship with you --- but of the primarily sexual nature he enjoyed, rather than cynically deciding to "use" you for sex

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Our users say:
Posted by: Kb | 2009-01-13

I wouldnt buy a " sex buddy"  a R6000 present!!!!! Are you sure his friend is telling the truth. Mayby he is causing trouble.

Reply to Kb

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