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Question
Posted by: Heart Sore | 2010/06/20

Father''s day gone bad

I planned a huge day for hubby. Something that I knew our son would enjoy and hopefully he and his dad could have a nice father''s day. Husband and son doesn''t have a good relationship. So thought if they did this they could have a fun time together.
We just got home after spending the day. Son enjoyed it alot. Hubby just told me that it was a sh!tty day. He would''ve enjoyed it more if we stayed home and I cooked and, and, and...
I know what would''ve happened if we stayed home. He would''ve played playstation and sleeping and son and I would''ve spend the day entertaining ourselves. This we do every day/night and every weekend. We wouldn''t have had time with dad.
My heart''s breaking! Prof, help! How do I let husband know how much he''s hurting us. Son''s only 4! I''ve spoken calmy and rationly to him. Explaining... Nothing seems to help!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds like a selfish and self-centred hubby. Actually, if Father's Day is supposed to be about giving Father a treat, then I suppose he needs to be consulted and given what he would like, rather than what we think he OUGHT to like. And here there seems to be a biological father who doesn't know how to be a real father.
But you are recognizing a broader problem, which needs family / marriage counselling more than any particular outing.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Dan | 2010/06/22

What a total-|-your husband is. Selfish doesnt even begin to explain it. He is a lazy lazy man. Dont think he sees a future with you and your son if he is acting like this already and your son is only 4. Shame I feel so sorry for your son. Rather no dad than a horrible one hey?

Reply to Dan
Posted by: Me | 2010/06/22

Playstation...what!! Get rid of that immediately. How could anyone in their right mind spend quality time with their wife or son, let alone help around the house, if they are either sleeping or playing with youngsters toys. You don''t only need CS''s advice, but a large boot to kick him where it hurts most. Make him responsible for your son 4 nights a week, and cook for you all the other 3. " Would have enjoyed it if I cooked while he played playstation" ......no comment!

Reply to Me
Posted by: tinawina | 2010/06/21

I hear you heartsore. I also had a major fallout with my kids father as I wanted them to spend time together. I would have taken him to his dad, make a cake and sent treats for him and his brother but it so didnt happen. My son is also 4 and spent the day spoiling his grandfather who is more of a dad to him than his own father.

Reply to tinawina
Posted by: Maria | 2010/06/21

Has your husband always been this uninvolved in your lives or did things change at some point? Just wondering if he might have depression. I also think some marriage counselling might be a good idea.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: C | 2010/06/21

Your husband does not deserve the title of " Father" . Your post has made me very sad, I feel so sorry for your son. One day he will wake up, but it will be too late. Every minute we get to spend with our children is so precious. Some people just don''t realise that.


Reply to C
Posted by: Peter | 2010/06/21

Sorry but your husband is an idiot, there are many men without kids who would love to give all their attention to their sons, if i were you i will lock that damn playstation away so that he can learn that not everythings about playsatations. Hope you get some sense into him. Good luck

Reply to Peter
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/06/21

Sounds like a selfish and self-centred hubby. Actually, if Father's Day is supposed to be about giving Father a treat, then I suppose he needs to be consulted and given what he would like, rather than what we think he OUGHT to like. And here there seems to be a biological father who doesn't know how to be a real father.
But you are recognizing a broader problem, which needs family / marriage counselling more than any particular outing.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Tasja | 2010/06/20

Sorry but i think he`s childish and needs to grow up.Dont feel bad,your son enjoyed it at least,and thats what you wanted.

Reply to Tasja

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