Our expert says:
I entirely agree with Nozi. It sounds as though you drop the child at the father's place without informing him in advance or checking whether this suits him, simply to suit your own plans --- no wonder that bothers him.
This also sounds like the type of problem which arises when a couple make up a plan as thry go along, rather than having a court decide properly, and provide a plan they must both keep to. Maintenance will be decided according to the child's needs and to the income each of you has. Custody should depend on who can best provide for the child's needs.
You seem to be thinking mainly of yout own convenience. And exposing the child to this squabbling is not good for her --- she will be feeling like a nuisance and a burden, rather than a loved child. It sounds as though this year you've had other people mostly care for your child --- your parents, his parents, and him. Why can't you provide more care yourself ?
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