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Question
Posted by: Foxxy | 2008/06/23

Father, son dilemma

I've been going out with the father who is 12 years older than me, seen his son on many occassions but never thought of anything about him.

Found out that he is married, just that wife is working in Jhb while we are both in Dbn. Been trying to come out of r/ship but always come back after being convinced (not proud of that).

Last week went out to eat in one of the places in town, guess who did I see (father and his wife) I carried on with my friends and enjoyed the evening as planned. Father kept on sending me sms's saying he didn't know the wife was coming etc......

Carried on with my friends until we decided to leave, I then decided to go to the loo, when I came out they were already gone. So I went to the parking lot and some guys wanted to mug me and in that moment the son came to the rescue and managed to get back belongings back. He then called his father and told him what happened - guess what he did! He kept on sending me sms's saying he loves me no matter what blah blah blah whilst with his wife.

I then called my brother, whilst waiting the son (3 yrs younger than me) was with me supporting and comforting me. From then he has been sending me sms's, calling me at work, sending me flowers.

Last night he came over to my place we had dinner and he slept over, even though we didn't do anything my heart beats so fast when I think of him.

now I'm confused, he called me in the office this morning and ask me if I'm happy with his father, if not why am I not coming out of the r/ship? Why am I not dating someone who is single? or not dating him?

I just pretended to be busy and promised to call him back and now I'm more confused than ever.

CS, pls help me.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Its nice that he was so helpful, but I hope he;s not exploiting your vulnerability, especially in the wake of the emergency. I heartily agree with Tango and Reg --- sounds ominously as though you are being played, and this could so easily become a situation in which EVERYONE gets hurt. Make the break with both of them, and find someone of your own

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Foxxy | 2008/06/25

Thanks guys for the advises, I know exactly what i need to do.

Like I said earlier, the wife works in JHB and there was no sign of her existence.

Age wise - I'm 27 and the son will turn 23 in Dec.

Reply to Foxxy
Posted by: K | 2008/06/23

I think John has a point about the age issue: If the father is 12 years older than Foxxy, and the son is 3 years younger than Foxxy; Then there's a 15-year age difference between father and son.
Or is there something I'm missing?

Reply to K
Posted by: math | 2008/06/23

John I think you missed the math here....she said he is 12 yrs older than her, she doesn't mention her age....so she could be 20 something or 30 something the son is 3 yrs younger than she is....

Reply to math
Posted by: John | 2008/06/23

I almost forgot: why is there only a 15 year gap between them? Did the father get his mother pregant when he was 15? Or is there something I missing?

Reply to John
Posted by: John | 2008/06/23

The thought of a woman having a sexual relationship with both father and son is repulsive, and is highly suggestive of bordering on incest. Funny how sometimes you can be so deep in a situation and not understand how bad it actually is.

Time to get away. I think you need to speak to a therapist/councilor/shrink about esteem and self-worth issues. You're sinking into a rotten pit of smelly morals, rapidly, and your policies regarding treatment of self are in dire need of a major overhaul.

Reply to John
Posted by: Jenny (aka Nadine) | 2008/06/23

What are you doing with a married man in the first place. He is taken. Has it not crossed your mind that if he really loves you then he would not be out and about with his wife. How a man can go out with his wife and have the gall to sms you shows his true character. Wake up!! Its plain to see he has no moral compass. You can't possibly be so dumb.

Reply to Jenny (aka Nadine)
Posted by: k | 2008/06/23

Don't do it. U just need a man, and the son happens to be readily available and a substitute for his father. Don't do it! In the end you'll only lose respect for yourself once both men have had their way with you.

Reply to k
Posted by: Reg | 2008/06/23

I agree with Tango unless you enjoy being played. Surely you deserve better than to be involved in a relationship with a man who is married and then having the son hit on you. Sounds like they both have no respect for you. Take back your power and respect and move on to greener pastures!

Reply to Reg
Posted by: Tango | 2008/06/23

My answer is short and sharp. Make a clean cut here with both. Its not advisable to go from father to son or vice versa without a 3rd world war breaking out between father and son.

Reply to Tango

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