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Question
Posted by: Ashamed | 2010-04-27

Father + prostitutes

My father was always faithful to my mother in spite of her infidelity. 2yrs ago she divorced + moved 2 the UK with her lover. We realise that it must be lonely 4 him as my sister + I live in another town with our families. We r concerned + ashamed that he has taken to visiting Chinese prostitutes. Not only does he visit them but sometimes they sleep over at his house on a weekend. His neighbours + some of our friends have spoken 2 us about it + he thinks we don''t know. I mean + 63yo. man with girls in their 20''s  he could rather join a singles club + meet somebody his own age + have a decent relationship (sex included) with her. We don''t feel free to go + visit him on a Sat. or Sun. in case we find a prostitute there. If this were to happen how would my sister explain it to her 14yo. daughter? We r ashamed + embarrased when people talk 2 us about his goings on. He sometimes visits us (alone) + that is the only contact we have with him. Should we speak 2 him about it or rather let him live his life like he wants to?

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Our expert says:
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The best way to tackle these problems are to have an open discussion with him about his behaviour and the views of the family towards this. It almost seems that his life has fallen appart since your mother divorced him and moved to the UK. The problem might be so deep that he needs therapy with a psychologist. Rejection by the family under these circumstances would be the worst thing to do.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Zee | 2010-04-28

You should be proud of your father that his age he can still go strong. You should pray you have his genes in you. At his age, he probably recons what few years does he have left and he wants to enjoy what he can now to the fullest. I assume he doesnt want to waste time wiht a person his age and maybe then he wont get turned on and wouldnt be able to perform the deed. But I do understand where you coming from. But also understand at his age, he wants to do a much as possible before it stops.

Reply to Zee
Posted by: Oldster | 2010-04-28

Yes, leave the old man alone. I appreciate you may not wish to bump into Suzy Wong at his house and you can always phone ahead to make sure the coast is clear. At his age its difficult to find someone suitable that may not wish to be as adventurous as the young girls can be.. Its easy and convenient with no strings attached. All he wants is to pleasure himself with them. No harm done to anyone.

Reply to Oldster
Posted by: xyz | 2010-04-28

Don''t be harsh on your Dad, sex workers are a last resort. It''s easier said than done, when you say just join a singles club or something and meet someone. It''s hard for people younger than your, Dad never mind someone in his sixties, he''s only human and has a sexual needs which is also very normal. Men generally have more of a need and that''s just a reality of life, if he were married and doing this that''s different but he''s not. He must just be responsible in the sense that he takes as many precautions as possible and test himself often, I don''t see why he should just go without sex because he is divorced and not involved with anyone, what if he never meets anyone must he just never again have and enjoy sex. You need to live your own life and leave him to live his

Reply to xyz
Posted by: Greek God | 2010-04-27

I think your father stuck to your mom &  family through her infidelity so how can you blame him for some happiness.
Give him a break,you dont live with him he has no obligation to your mother &  he is discreet he is entitled to do what he wants &  see who he wants.
He may embarass you &  tell you to mind your own business.

Reply to Greek God

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