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Question
Posted by: Debs | 2009/10/28

Father in law into bondage and fetishes

Hi there

I need to talk to someone about this - could you please advise. My husbands father who is 68 is visiting us for 2 weeks. He has told us both that he is very involved with a group that are into bondage and fetishes. Says he has been into it for the past 2 years ( his wife left him a few months ago ) He is going to a party this week with his domanitrix woman ( he has a few ) and she has instructed him to dress as a female! The party is an organized event in Jhb that puts on shows of " all"  sorts. He seems very proud of his lifestyle and I cannot judge him. But he tells us both about things - expecially me! It is embarressing for both my hubby and myself and actually quite humerous too. Is this behavious normal and how do you suggest we handle it?
Oh he also says that it is fine as they do loads of sexual acts but that there is no penetration taking place. I dont know what to think and feel sorry for my husband - he is quiet and hasnt got a close relationship with his dad. What do I do?
Please advise.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

You cannot take responsibility for your husband and father in laws relationship or for the choices his father makes with his life. You could read up a bit more on the internet if you would like to get to know a bit more about these sexual practices. It is a free world and there is no legal action against these sexual practices. It is a practice that is engaged by several people – and lots of people have their own opinions and ideas about it. You can only determine the boundaries you have with regards your sexual life and actions and behaviour and company you entertain in your space. What another does with his or her life you do not have control over. You just need to be clear on your relationship and house boudaries.

You are also welcome to contact our helpline – 0860100262 where you could be assisted to get in touch with a therapist as close a possible to you.

Furthermore you are welcome to visit the following website for any more sexual health information and assignments that could be helpful: www.sexualhealth.co.za

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Anon | 2009/10/29

Keep him away from your kids to be on the safe side.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: sexologist | 2009/10/28

You cannot take responsibility for your husband and father in laws relationship or for the choices his father makes with his life. You could read up a bit more on the internet if you would like to get to know a bit more about these sexual practices. It is a free world and there is no legal action against these sexual practices. It is a practice that is engaged by several people – and lots of people have their own opinions and ideas about it. You can only determine the boundaries you have with regards your sexual life and actions and behaviour and company you entertain in your space. What another does with his or her life you do not have control over. You just need to be clear on your relationship and house boudaries.

You are also welcome to contact our helpline – 0860100262 where you could be assisted to get in touch with a therapist as close a possible to you.

Furthermore you are welcome to visit the following website for any more sexual health information and assignments that could be helpful: www.sexualhealth.co.za

Reply to sexologist

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