Our expert says:
So father delayed the notification letter, so she would not be able to attend ? I do believe it is possible to get an emergency temporary visa within a month ; I've done it myself.
The excuse of not smoking for 12 hours being unbearable won't wash - she needs her addiction cured, and could probably have got nicotine patches to help her survive the journey !
As for the mother's reaction, maybe there's nothign wrong ( and she knows them better than you do ) ; maybe there is but she chooses to ignore or deny it.
Your choices are either to ignore this ( and it seems that you must be convinced there's something awwful going on, or it wouldn't worry you so much ) ; or to talk with her about whether she is bothered, and how she feels about it. I don't think its impossible to do so without offending or hurting her
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