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Question
Posted by: Tired | 2010/11/19

Fat

I have a 11 year old stepdaughter. She is tall and skinny. She will stand in front of a mirror the whole day and tell everyone that walks past that she is so fat. She will wear a jersey in 40 degrees outside, because then a school dress can be shorter and nobody see her " fat" .

I am sick and tired of it. I told her that if she is looking for attention, she is not going to find it. She gets a lot of attention at home (with us where she stay) and from her mother (where she visit). Her mother spoils her a lot, so she really should not be saying things like that.

She eats a lot. She loves her sweet stuff, so it is not that she is going to get one or other sort of illness because of it. I know that the friends (wrong friends) at school is like that also. They started shaving the beginning of the year. (Waaay toooo young). Stepdaugther cried and asked her parents and they said yes.

What can I do about the fat story????

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert

Hi

It sounds as if she is entering puberty and as a result has become body conscious. This is not unusual, but it does need to be monitored as eating disorders develop from a belief that one is fat or overweight.

Overall, it sounds as if she needs support and reassurance. Her parents being separated can be a source of anxiety for her and there needs to be a joint response from everyone involved as she has to negotiate her way in two families.

If it is possible I would recommend that everyone involved in parenting her get together to discuss the way forward. She is just ntering adolescence and there are more challenging times ahead. She will benefit most from a very consistent approach from everyone.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Vrye Denker | 2010/12/10

Get her enrolled in some sort of sproting activity. SOmething like karate or contemporary dancing builds confidence and makes your body release endorphins, which should neutralise the fidgety and self-conscious behaviour.

Reply to Vrye Denker
Posted by: Teen expert | 2010/11/23

Hi

It sounds as if she is entering puberty and as a result has become body conscious. This is not unusual, but it does need to be monitored as eating disorders develop from a belief that one is fat or overweight.

Overall, it sounds as if she needs support and reassurance. Her parents being separated can be a source of anxiety for her and there needs to be a joint response from everyone involved as she has to negotiate her way in two families.

If it is possible I would recommend that everyone involved in parenting her get together to discuss the way forward. She is just ntering adolescence and there are more challenging times ahead. She will benefit most from a very consistent approach from everyone.

Reply to Teen expert

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