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Question
Posted by: Emotionally tired | 2011/06/14

family falling apart

I''m currently in a very difficult situation. It feels as if my parents are constantly fighting or getting irritated with each other. I love my mother dearly but she can be a very neurotic person. She spends a lot of time reading " self help"  books, but hardly ever uses the information. I''m starting to think she might be really depressed, but I have absolutely no idea how to approach this situation or her for that matter. We used to be very close but lately it feels as if my whole family is drifting apart. I''m also going through a difficult time myself, as I recently came out of an emotionally abusive relationship. I am running out of energy trying recover from my own emotional bruises while at the same time witnessing my parents crumbling relationship. Ive been brought up to be very respectful of my parents, so I have a feeling that it is not really my place to intervene or say something, but how do I just stand back and do nothing? How does a child tell her parents they need to see a marriage counselor or tell my mother she needs to talk to somebody professional (not just buy another " fix it yourself"  book?)

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

So many Self Help books are so unhelpful ! And can become an addiction in their own right. One can too easily feel that having read the book, or even having merely read it, the problem has been dealt with, even though you have done nothing contretely useful about it.
You have your own problems to deal with, but there's no harm in politely and pleasantly suggesting to your parents that they seem unhappy and squabbling, and that some marriage counselling could well help them both quite considerably. And suggest to your mom that ooks can't solve all problems, especially not where someone can actually see a real life counsellor / therapist who can adapt all useful ideas to her specifically.

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Our users say:
Posted by: emotionally hopefull! | 2011/06/14

Thank you for the quick reply CS, really appreciate it! Sometimes an outsider''s point of view really puts things into perspective. Thanks!

Oh, and for the record, I totally agree with the self help book addiction! Pick a topic, any topic, I''ll be glad to send you a " free"  copy! hehe

Reply to emotionally hopefull!
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/06/14

So many Self Help books are so unhelpful ! And can become an addiction in their own right. One can too easily feel that having read the book, or even having merely read it, the problem has been dealt with, even though you have done nothing contretely useful about it.
You have your own problems to deal with, but there's no harm in politely and pleasantly suggesting to your parents that they seem unhappy and squabbling, and that some marriage counselling could well help them both quite considerably. And suggest to your mom that ooks can't solve all problems, especially not where someone can actually see a real life counsellor / therapist who can adapt all useful ideas to her specifically.

Reply to cybershrink

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