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Question
Posted by: desprate | 2010/09/01

Family

Please help.
My family are sucking the life out of me!!!! I stay with my two children 3 and 18 years old and am a single parent.
My mom moved in with me uninvited. She’ s working and contribute the minimum and when I say minimum I mean between R200.00-R400.00 a month to the household, since she’ s helping to support my sister and her children. My mom is a very interfering woman and love to gossip and discuses household issues outside. My sister does not want my mother to stay with her but she always needs her help emotionally and financially. Since she moved in with me I have no secrets she discusses my life with everyone. She doesn’ t want to help with household chores and expect me to still serves and wine and dine her. The only reason why I have not asked her to leave is because she’ s going through a divorce and her husband chased her away. My brother and 2 other sisters are married and also don’ t want to get involve with her, or give her a place to stay. This is really adding to my depression as I am suffering from bipolar 2.
Every time when my sister(the one she supports) have a problem it becomes mine as my mom starts nagging me about it!!!! im on the verge of admitting myself for depression I just can’ t take this anymore.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Why does your sister need that extra support ? Does she not work and support herself ? IF your mother is to stay with you, you need a calm and quiet talk with her spelling oput the rules which must apply to ANYONE living in your home - which would include absolutely no gossip whatever, and no interference. And she must either contribute much more moeny to the expenses, or contribute by actively helping with the chores - if this was a hotel, she'd have to pay a lot more ; as it is no a hotel, she has to share the work.
Obviously she needs some help - but why from YOU, and why can your brother and oher sisters just ignore their own duties to help their mother ? And ell ALL of them that you suffer from a serious illness, and are not able to continue carying these extra burdens, financially or emotionally, and they MUSt do their share.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/09/02

Why does your sister need that extra support ? Does she not work and support herself ? IF your mother is to stay with you, you need a calm and quiet talk with her spelling oput the rules which must apply to ANYONE living in your home - which would include absolutely no gossip whatever, and no interference. And she must either contribute much more moeny to the expenses, or contribute by actively helping with the chores - if this was a hotel, she'd have to pay a lot more ; as it is no a hotel, she has to share the work.
Obviously she needs some help - but why from YOU, and why can your brother and oher sisters just ignore their own duties to help their mother ? And ell ALL of them that you suffer from a serious illness, and are not able to continue carying these extra burdens, financially or emotionally, and they MUSt do their share.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Unique | 2010/09/01

I feel for you. family issues are hard. Will it not help to explain your health situation (you don''t have to give the details)to one of your siblings and ask them to PLEASE accomodate your mom for a while. Or may be find her a flat to live in if she can afford rent.

Reply to Unique

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