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Question
Posted by: Anonumous | 2011/08/29

Falling in Love

I have a problem of falling easily in love with men, what must i do to protect my hurt from being hurt, because sometime you find that you are in a relationship where the other party is not in the same space with you, and you head over heels, i need a good advice of not falling easily in love, i am tired of being hurt.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Are you falling in love or in lust ? Don't be too desperate for love, or this can make it harder to find. Don't give too much too soon, and let love be something you achieve WITH the other person, rather than entirely on your own. You can love an object ( a Rolls-Royce, a flat-screen TV ) which doesn't need to love you back, but in relationships, it needs to be mutual or it isn't real love.
People with love self-esteem may feel an urgent need to be "in love" to make them feel more secure, and may give too much physically and emotionally to try to get that, and make themselves much more vulnerable to getting hurt. Sometimes you are actually in love with being in love, rather than with the person. Counselling can help you sort out these issues more efficiently.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Me | 2011/08/30

I am battling with the same problem as you, just yesterday i was shedding a tear at work over a broken relationship, i am still hurting, the worst thing is i see the person from time to me due to work. i tried to understand why i behaved as such, blamed myself, blamed my father who rejected me even in an attempt to reach out to him, the need to feel loved. last night i cried so much that i realised i unintentionally contributed to my pain. I don''t know if there is a quick fix, but have learnt that i need to first love, respect and forgive myself for my " weakness"  (i.e of easy loving), my father and lastly forgive the person. Not an easy battle but i believe one can overcome.

" My opinion" is right about not rushing into sex (also a lesson learnt).

wish you the strength to overcome.





Reply to Me
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/08/30

Are you falling in love or in lust ? Don't be too desperate for love, or this can make it harder to find. Don't give too much too soon, and let love be something you achieve WITH the other person, rather than entirely on your own. You can love an object ( a Rolls-Royce, a flat-screen TV ) which doesn't need to love you back, but in relationships, it needs to be mutual or it isn't real love.
People with love self-esteem may feel an urgent need to be "in love" to make them feel more secure, and may give too much physically and emotionally to try to get that, and make themselves much more vulnerable to getting hurt. Sometimes you are actually in love with being in love, rather than with the person. Counselling can help you sort out these issues more efficiently.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Mrs P | 2011/08/29

Self respect.

Respect yourself enough not to give your heart to every tom dick (pardon the pun) amd harry. Remember that shariing your body is sacred - not to be given to every man that whispers sweet nothings in your ear.

Do not allow yourslef to be used. Hold back. Excercise self control and do not allow yourself to fall for everything in a pair of pants that smiles at you. Remember that your body is sacred. It is God''s temple. Treat it that way.

Reply to Mrs P
Posted by: my opinion | 2011/08/29

CS will have good advice as always soon.
My advice is too not get physical too soon,men can spot a woman like you easily. Once they have had their fun they move on.
Do not confuse sex with love.

Reply to my opinion

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