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Question
Posted by: Susan | 2008/09/10

Falling for another man

Well here I am, after 10 years of marriage, falling for another man that I have known, also for 10 years. What the hell? I don'  t know how to control my feelings for him...

He is gorgeous-tall, blonde hair, blue eyes, sporty, a doctor, what more do I need to say? He is making moves on me and I feel totally flattered and am not sure how to handle it. I don'  t want to mess up what I have already.

Please some advise.

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Our expert says:
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If you've known him for 10 years, what has changed to make you "fall" for him now ? Don't feel so readily flattered that he is making moves on you --- a man who is pleased to seduce someone else's wife is hardly likely to make a faithful spouse or lover to you. And imagine how you will hurt your husband and family if you go along with his moves. You are mature enough that you DO know how to control your feelings for him. Is he married, ? If so, what does he care about hurting his wife ? You are being manipulated and falling for it. Ignore him, and don't spend time with him or communicate with him --- and maybe some sessions of marriage counselling would enhance the marriage you have

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anon | 2008/09/11

I have the same problem, married with three children, my hubby is great, love him to bits.. in the past year we have been experiencing some difficuties... serious ones, but we have chosen to work through it and stay together as we really love one another, but I also, have met another guy, nothing has happened, except for one kiss... I don' t want to lose what I have, but cannot seem to brake it of with the other man. ALSO confused!!!

Reply to Anon
Posted by: c | 2008/09/11

i am where you are! i have met a man that is my soulmate..sounds corny! i also dont know what to do- i think it all boils down to choices!

Reply to c
Posted by: JR | 2008/09/11

Now this is excactly my point why wifes have affairs. They don' t love the other person, it is all about the attention, affection and everything else that just became the obvious in the marraige. Talk to your DH and tell him what you are missing at this stage. He might feel the same and together you can fill the gaps?

Like spooky said, it only lasts a while until it wears off and then you will sit with the same problem, until the next one comes along to fill that need. Rather work on what you have now, at least you know what you have now. The grass looks greener on the other side, but that is only cause there is more sh*t.

Reply to JR
Posted by: Spooky | 2008/09/10

You sound perfectly human to me and your feelings and reactioN is par for the course for all of us.It' s called infatuation and is what stuffs up so many lives. Sadly, after so much damage, the feeling wears off again.
Be warned: STAY AWAY FROM THE TEMPTATION. BE FAITHFUL TO YOUR REAL LOVE AND GIVE YOUR FAMILY THE ENJOYMENT THAT THEY WOULD WANT YOU TO HAVE FOR EVER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply to Spooky
Posted by: EL | 2008/09/10

Stay away from him! As far as possible! You will cause yourself and other people lots of heartache!

Reply to EL
Posted by: Nia | 2008/09/10

If you really dont want to mess up your marriage, your family life, your peace of mind and your clear conscience beyond any possible repair, then just ignore this selfish thoughtless man and go on with your life.

It is not worth it. Trust me.

Reply to Nia

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