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Question
Posted by: Black like me | 2012/01/30

Falling apart

Hi guys im in deep trouble my marriage is falling apart. It a long story but i wil cut it short. I cheated on her and this lady knew i was married got a hold of my wife numbers. Started phoning my wife, i apologised deeply of the affair. Every time we argue she keeps going back, and telling me that this lady phoned and telling her every intimate detail we did. i try telling her not to listen to her but she does and questions me about it. if i answer her it like im lieing and this lady is telling the truth. The truth is i love my wife i regret what i did but our nrelationship is falling apart we dont talk and it been almost three month without contact. I have apologise more than i could even if i open my heart u will c. Im stuck plse advice. Last night we argued about this and i accidently slap her. The anger, love everything is boiling in me.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

By the sound of it you and your wife need to seek the professional assistance from a psychologist or counselor – on your own you are not able to address this matter as it tends to lead a destructive outcome. If you want to work on this relationship it is crucial to avoid any further damage. The trust relationship over and above the sexual relationship had been violated and that will only restore in time with effort from both sides.
For further information please consult SASHA’s website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru. For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: normal | 2012/01/30

Slaping her means something serious &  the world we live is a landfull of women &  a handfull of good women so leave her &  get a better wife dont run after your wife.
Think about it.

Reply to normal
Posted by: Jasmin | 2012/01/30

The damage has been done. It will take a very long time for your wife to get over it, if ever.

Reply to Jasmin
Posted by: XXX | 2012/01/30

You bonk another woman &  then slap your wife in the heat of the moment,come now,you need to do some serious grovelling to win her back.
I suggest you go see a marriage counsellor as I doubt you will get back to " normal"  without help.
You think the anger is " boiling"  in you,what do you think she is feeling !

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Cindy | 2012/01/30

First you cheat on your wife and then you ''accidentally'' slap her?! I don''t see how you can ''accidentally'' slap your wife but I suppose that is besides the point. If you want to lose your wife then I would say you''re going about it the proper way.

If I were in your wife''s shoes I would expect you to beg and beg and when you''re done beg some more! You need to prove to your wife that you truly are sorry and that you would do anything it takes to get her to forgive you, and in the process retain your marriage. Unfortunately, she will listen to everything the other woman tells her, all the dirty little details, because us women are built that way - even though it hurts like hell - and unfortunately she will end up believing everything the other woman tells her......simply because YOU broke her trust in you.

Do whatever it takes to get your wife back.....and no, that does not include ''accidentally'' slapping her, and arguing with her! You''re the one who faltered and so rightfully you should be the one to pay for your sins. She''s going to want for you to prove to her that you truly are sorry for what you did and that you truly want to be with her instead of the other woman. It is up to you to decide whether she is worth whatever she expects you to do.

Good luck!

Reply to Cindy
Posted by: Sexologist | 2012/01/30

By the sound of it you and your wife need to seek the professional assistance from a psychologist or counselor – on your own you are not able to address this matter as it tends to lead a destructive outcome. If you want to work on this relationship it is crucial to avoid any further damage. The trust relationship over and above the sexual relationship had been violated and that will only restore in time with effort from both sides.
For further information please consult SASHA’s website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru. For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com.

Reply to Sexologist

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