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Question
Posted by: SP | 2011-02-24

extro/introvert

I have a boyfriend who is an extreme extrovert - he will walk into a place and just command attention. He is loud, boisterous, funny and people just love him. He can talk to anyone and because of this, he has so many friends. Me on the other hand, am an extreme introvert and have suffered from social phobia all my life. I have been on medication for 5 years and have had CBT and thought I was coping in my circle of friends (very small group) and lifestyle, but now with my bf, I realise Im still socially phobic/anxious and sometimes when we are out, it overwhelms me so badly that I have to ask him, if we can please leave. I spoke to him yesterday about it and he doesn''t understand why or how I have this problem, but said he will help me get over it. Is this the best treatment for me i.e. flooding because that is how it is going to be with him and Im scared!!! And being such different personalities, can a relationship like this work? Any suggestions/advice would be grateful - thanks.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Why did you choose a bf so very different from yourself, and apparently one who behaves in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable ? Surely there are alternatives ? If you have actual good reasons to want to stay with him, and he sincerely wants to help, maybe he should see your CBT therapist to find out how to be most useful. It doesn't sound convincingly as though your CBT was successful or completed

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4
Our users say:
Posted by: SP | 2011-02-24

Hi Bee-Bee. We have been together for 4 months.

Reply to SP
Posted by: Bee-Bee | 2011-02-24

Hi there. How long have you been together for?

Reply to Bee-Bee
Posted by: How? | 2011-02-24

He has only chosen u as you cannot steal his limelight. You will only ever have a supporting act in his performance.
Why would u choose such a partner knowing your personality/problems this is just ridiculous!

Reply to How?
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-02-24

Why did you choose a bf so very different from yourself, and apparently one who behaves in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable ? Surely there are alternatives ? If you have actual good reasons to want to stay with him, and he sincerely wants to help, maybe he should see your CBT therapist to find out how to be most useful. It doesn't sound convincingly as though your CBT was successful or completed

Reply to cybershrink

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