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Question
Posted by: Lyle | 2011/02/04

Extreme guilt &  depression for act

Hi

I''m living with extreme guilt and regret.
It was at a party, a year ago, when a friend and I shared a bed. I''m not a heavy drinker, but easily intoxicated. I may have had 2 or 3 glasses at most. My friend passed out on the bed, but I was awake, only being mildly tipsy.

Later into the night I did the most horrible thing. I placed my hands into his pants and felt his genitals, while he was asleep.

My friends and I always joke around about each other''s penis size and they all have seen each other, except for me, that why I felt his size. I did not fondle or do anything sexual with it. I acknowledge the wrong I did, but now I''m falling into a depression. Why did I forsake my beliefs that night?

We were both 18 and today I realise the sexual offence I committed. I don''t think of myself as an offender, for my intention was not sexual. I gave into my hormonal curiousity. I always considered myself being a late bloomer - my voice hasn''t fully deepend yet, scrawny, no facial or body hair and insecurities about my genitals. Could this be an underlying reason for my curiousity?

I am religious and gay too. My friends know of this, but I fear telling him what I did, because he is not very fond of gay guys.

How do I overcome this act without the guilty conscience eating at me like cancer? Please, help.
Thank you

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert

Hi Lyle,

this type of curiosity and situation happens a lot with teenagers, and with many more teenage boys than people realise.

This event, you rightly have assessed as something that should not have happened without the other persons consent, but it does not make you some kind of terrible sexual predator or offender.

What is important is that you come to accept yourself for who you are in terms of your physicality and you sexuality. Being religious and gay are not in opposition to each other as some people would want you to believe.

Try to understand that what happened is about your struggle right now rather than you being a bad person.

If you are in the Cape Town area an organisation that could assist you further is Triangle Project and they can be contacted at 021 448 3812 or www.triangle.org.za

Best wishes

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Ryne | 2011/05/05

Hey, that post laeevs me feeling foolish. Kudos to you!

Reply to Ryne
Posted by: Teen expert | 2011/02/16

Hi Lyle,

this type of curiosity and situation happens a lot with teenagers, and with many more teenage boys than people realise.

This event, you rightly have assessed as something that should not have happened without the other persons consent, but it does not make you some kind of terrible sexual predator or offender.

What is important is that you come to accept yourself for who you are in terms of your physicality and you sexuality. Being religious and gay are not in opposition to each other as some people would want you to believe.

Try to understand that what happened is about your struggle right now rather than you being a bad person.

If you are in the Cape Town area an organisation that could assist you further is Triangle Project and they can be contacted at 021 448 3812 or www.triangle.org.za

Best wishes

Reply to Teen expert
Posted by: Shaz | 2011/02/09

Hi Lyle
We all do things that we are ashamed of, but it does us absolutely no good to carry the burden around all the time. Ask Gods forgiveness and forgive yourself. Learn from your mistake and let it go.
Take care.

Reply to Shaz

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