Posted by: Anonymous | 2009-06-15

Expressing emotions

Good morning CS

I never had trouble expressing my emotions. My boyfriend of one year says he knows nothing about me except my habits and ways and what makes me sad or happy but he doesn' t know what I am thinking. I do have a lot of emotions inside of me but none that need to come out or anything. He wishes I would express myself more but honestly I just can' t do that and I don' t know why or how. I tend to keep all my thoughts to myself even when I am mad and angry. I blame it on an ex boyfriend who was abusive towards me emotionally. Could that be why I just don' t share my thoughts? I want to share my emotions but I can' t, I just can' t at all. Nothing comes out or it feels like I hit a blank the whole time. Not even writing it down helps. What I' m writing does sound silly cos actually I can' t even express myself on here either. Oh well... I know what I' m feeling and I guess I will keep everything to myself.

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Our expert says:
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Good morning, A !
Hmm. Do ANY of us every truly know what anyone else is thinking ? Is it necessary for all our fleeting emotions to "come out" ? Of course, if a previous bf was abusive and reacted with hostility to any expression of your emotions, you'd have learned to be more cautious about expressing them. Its neither necessary to keep everything to oneself, nor to wear one's heart on one's sleeve ( as they used to say ). Finding a mid-way would be more useful. Might couples counselling sessions help ? Are there major issues remaining within you relating to the earlier abuse which you miht usefully deal with in personal counselling ?

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