Posted by: Stephanie | 2012-12-10

Expensive gift - to accept or decline?

A friend has told me he wants to buy me a camera as a gift and the camera he has in mind costs almost R3000. I don''t know whether I should accept or decline such an extravagant gift. I am financially not in a position to reciprocate and I don''t know how to tell him not to spend so much money on me. We are quite close and get on very well. We share problems and are always there for one another, to lend an ear or give advice. Please help as I do not want to do or say anything to offend him. I have never been the recipient of extravagant/expensive gifts and honestly don''t know how to deal with this. Thank you!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I don't see how we can answer this one for you. So much depends on you and him, the nature of your relationship, and many other factors.
I wonder why he told you ? Mostly, we leave the nature of a gift as a surprise for the person receiving it. Maybe he is wondering whether you would be pleased enough to warant the high price tag ( there are much cheaper cameras available, so why is he choosing a particularly expeisive one ? ). If you are such a famous and specialist photographer, you'd already have such a camera. For most of us the fancier gadgets do lots of things we don't want to do and have facilities we never use, so they can be really wasteful.
Why not just have a quiet chat, and mention that you'd be even more happy with a much cheaper and simpler camera, as you can't manage all the fancy tricks of a high-line model, and mention that you'd feel embarrassed because you can't afford to spend so much on him, though you'd like to, and though you know he wouldn't expect you to match the gift, it'd make you feel more uncomfortable. Maybe suggest the pair of you visit a good store and choose a simpler model, together

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Our users say:
Posted by: Latoya | 2012-12-11

I seriously dont see why you should say no to the gift, he shouldnt have told you, but am sure he did because he is excited about getting you the gift, i dont see a problem, i will take with open arms and thank him.
You dont necessarily have to buy him a gift, its not a tit for tat type of a situation, you will buy him a gift someday when the need arise.

Reply to Latoya
Posted by: Peas | 2012-12-10

Hi Stephanie,

I think you should take it, you might not get the opportunity again. I have friends that buy me expensive gits too, just coz they can and they do not expect anything in return. I got a TV!

Reply to Peas
Posted by: Maria | 2012-12-10

Hmmm... it''s one thing if he gives you something that you really need but cannot afford, another if the gift is a luxury. I agree with Purple.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: PUrple | 2012-12-10

Perhaps just thank him for his kindness, but say that you are embarassed to accept such a gift and would therefore prefer it if he doesn''t buy it for you.

If he then still buys it, thank him again, but say that you are not accepting it and give it back to him.

Why does he want to buy you such an expensive gift?

Reply to PUrple
Posted by: 40''ish | 2012-12-10

Accept it in the spirit it is given. Just because he can afford it and want''s to why say no thank you? Buy him something within your means and give it to him.

It''s xmas - its the season for giving after all....

Reply to 40''ish

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