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Question
Posted by: NSF | 2011-06-20

Ex wife phoning kids

My fiance and I both come from previous marriages, with children. When his kids come to visit every second weekend, their mother phones them way to much for my liking, five times a weekend, and she chats to both kids for long periods, everytime. I''ve had several fits about this, and he tried to talk to her about making her phone calls less, but she refuses. Why does it bother me so much?? It''s beginning to cause havoc and I am not sure why. It does feel like she''s invading our privacy and my hands are tied against her ''invasions''.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If the kids spend the rest of the time with her, this is a silly number of extra phone calls from the biomom to check up on her kids - it's intrusive into her ex's time with his own kids, and sounds rather like a form of spying on the time he spends with you. You and he should discuss this with the kids, and make a no-phone-calls from biomom rule about the weekends, or een suggest they put their phones on hold or block calls for the duration of the weekend. She is being highly selfish.
Maybe he and you could each make a point of calling her very frequently on those weekends, just to check up on how she's managing without the kids, what she thinks about the whether, etc., till she recognizes how intrusive such calls can be.
Maybe you can get one of those cell-phone jamming devices for your home, which you can switch on while the kids visit ?

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6
Our users say:
Posted by: Lee | 2011-06-21

Go away for a weekend where there is no reception. Or when you go out to dinner with the kids all of you (as etiquette) should leave you phones switched off.
Don''t badmouth their mother (I''m sure you don''t). and pity her that she doesn''t have a life over the weekends when you guys are a home full.

Reply to Lee
Posted by: Phil | 2011-06-20

The wheel turns when you completely ignore it  and she realises that it doesn''t get to you no more?
Remember  it is costing her money. Money well spend if she gets to you. But if not  then slowly but surely she will realize she failed. Trust me  been there..

Reply to Phil
Posted by: Maria | 2011-06-20

Maybe on the weekends when she has the kids their dad can call five times to talk to them?

Reply to Maria
Posted by: W | 2011-06-20

Wow Mrs P, never thought of it that way but you so right, But when does the wheel turn?

Reply to W
Posted by: Mrs P | 2011-06-20

She is not phoning the kids to find out how the are. She is phoning to get on your very last nerve, and to cause trouble in your home and relationship. The more you freak out about it, the more sattisfaction and pleasure she gets so why should she stop if she is having so much fun?

Just a thought.

Reply to Mrs P
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-06-20

If the kids spend the rest of the time with her, this is a silly number of extra phone calls from the biomom to check up on her kids - it's intrusive into her ex's time with his own kids, and sounds rather like a form of spying on the time he spends with you. You and he should discuss this with the kids, and make a no-phone-calls from biomom rule about the weekends, or een suggest they put their phones on hold or block calls for the duration of the weekend. She is being highly selfish.
Maybe he and you could each make a point of calling her very frequently on those weekends, just to check up on how she's managing without the kids, what she thinks about the whether, etc., till she recognizes how intrusive such calls can be.
Maybe you can get one of those cell-phone jamming devices for your home, which you can switch on while the kids visit ?

Reply to cybershrink

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